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    « 51. Hmmm, Should I Blog This? Yeah, It's Wednesday, After All | Main | 53. D is for Dictionary »

    Thursday, February 21, 2008


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    Cathy in Va.

    Honestly, I wouldn't dare! :)

    Jennifer in KS

    Way back in the day when html had to be chiselled into stone, I had an active website onto which I uploaded my free quilt patterns in .pdf form. I also offered to email Electric Quilt project files upon request. (E.Q. is a design program for quilters.) I was sent many a "send me the .prj file" email--no mention of the quilt name, often not even a please or thank you acknowledging their request was being sent to a human being. Eventually I posted a Psychic Disability Notice next to the email form to remind my visitors that I am not be able to read their minds. It was humiliating. I hate admitting my weaknesses.


    Hey, it's your blog world, we just live in it! Feel free to rule in whatever way you like. I would just like for people to get off MY roads when I need to get somewhere, but apparently I have issues of my own! (Um, yeah, a major one might be thinking I own all roads everywhere if I am on them, I guess.)


    I'd take #2 personally if I wasn't so busy being amused at the idea of someone thinking it's rude to reply to comments via email. A simple comment in a blog can lead to some very personal conversations that have no business being posted in blogs... as you know. ;^)

    I'd tell you about my current comment issue, but I think they found me through you. *L*

    Oh, and can I please have your info on that thingy you did with the stuff that was so wicked cool? Thanks!


    Blog Ettyket - what fun! Harlot had some peeves earlier this month that she aired and it got me for one thinking. It really raised some questions for me as a lurker. I don't have a blog -admire all of you that do - but that also means that I have an incredible blind spot for what may indeed be a peeve. For example - do ya'll really care what we respond? I tend to respond off the cuff. Got a smackdown once for perceived "advertising" in a comment. And she was right to do it - because as a lurker, I have never had to deal with spammers and it never occurred to me that my seemingly innocent comment fell into the realm of increase your mate's pleasure in my mailbox. Duh! Then I once almost commented to a very funny, political reference with a salvo of subtle, yet suggestive comments. Before I hit the post, I read some of the other comments and saw that a 10 year old had commented. My comment was not explicit by any means (really rather snappy I thought), but it got me thinking about the level of self-monitoring that is expected. I mean, you drop the f-bomb all the time and I have been known to as well - but I wouldn't dream of doing so in a comment. I've gotten to the point that I almost exclusively deal with direct email for fear of having the Comment Ettyket Police get me! So please - do tell - where do Lurkers learn the ins and outs of comments? Because I'm the kind of person that if I don't like a Blog - I don't read it. I read LOTS of blogs but seldom comment and when I do - I certainly don't want to p**s off the Blogger.


    Whew! I am so glad I don't do those things. Though I do feel compelled to respond to comments when I can (even though some days I say the same things to all the commenters). But I usually don't remember where all I comment, so I wouldn't miss it if someone didn't reply, I guess.

    To the Canadian dude... Pro bloggers are to 2008 what venture-capital-funded internet IPOs were to 2001: slightly passed their expiration date and due for a thorough brutal culling. And if I wanted everyone to know what I was saying to the friends who comment on my blog, I'd put it on the blog in the first place. My blog isn't here for A to know what B is saying. A or B can have their own damn blogs for that.

    Also, bug old misanthrope here. Long discussions in the comments become so repetitive. (Me too! Me too! I agree with what X said 200 comments ago!) Who cares what they think? Bah. Humbug!


    Oh dear. I forget some people are much more popular than I! ;) I'll do my best not to make you guess what the hell I'm talking about in the future. Though half the time I don't know what the hell I'm talking about either.


    big one for me? it drives me NUTS when someone comments with something either really informative, nice, or constructive... and they comment anonymously. i know bloglines is weird sometimes, but i've enabled non-member comments, and is it that hard to fill in your email address so i can respond to you, or ask a follow up question, or answer a question of yours?

    and i really hate replying to an anonymous commenter in a post. like, "oh, and norma you were right, it was the BLUE spoon!" it feels like you're broadcasting some kind of middle-school inside joke and rubbing it in other people's faces...

    geesh. silly people.


    You're so right Norma!!! (tee hee hee...I couldn't resist) One of my biggest peeves is also when people answer comments in their own comments. I already read your post. Now I have to go back and read and re-read the comments to see what's new? Umm...yeah...I don't think so. So I read a post once, comment if I feel like it, then go about my day. I have no idea if people answer my in the comments because I DON"T GO BACK TO THAT POST. I tend to make silly little comments and not really ask questions so maybe that has something to do with it. I don't know Norma...what do you think? (HA. Sorry. I just can't stop)


    On behalf of all of Canada, I would like to apologize for that dude. (Email me privately -- and rudely -- and I'll tell ya what I ~really~ think *g*)


    Peeves. We all have them. Few of us air them. You are the wind beneath our peeves.
    Thanks, Norma!


    Oh, cripes, I see that I have to try to follow Sandy and her early-morning punning (love ya, hon!). Anyway, what I was going to say...I didn't get the comment conversation idea either. It just doesn't work for "us." I did a little experiment and subscribed to somebody's post comments, and the emails drove me nuts! And I didn't care all that much anyway, because I'd made my comment and I was done. When I click post in a minute, I'm not coming back until tomorrow!


    Norma, your list is spot on! I am sometimes guilty of it but #2 really gets to me as well. I am going to make a conscious effort to stop doing that now!!


    I couldn't agree more on #1. As for #2, well, I'm like Cookie. I'm taking that personally. Umbrage. ;-)

    Dave Daniels

    Totally agree on #1. And I really hate it when I get an email and someone sends an email and tells me they are a long time reader, and I would I tell them where I buy my yarn wholesale. ???WTF I'm actually writing a quiz that will be sent to those claiming to be "long time readers". here, answer these questions to get a response. What do you think? :)


    Thanks Norma! ;-) I don't have any peeves to speak of, I'm just a little blog.


    Thank you, Norma! Nothing to see here. :-)


    No, YOU are. ;-)


    My biggest comment pet peeve? When someone asks me a question in a comment, I respond to them via email, and the email bounces back as undeliverable. If you ask a question, use an email address that freaking works in the comment form!!

    Thank you. :-)


    I try to email a reply to my commenters--- usually summing up the comment (my comment thing-y doesn't allow me to include the original comment in my email) in my reply. My largest pet peeve is when people ask me for something (a reply, an email, or, God help me... my address to send more fun fur hats) and don't log in. And then send me a nasty email 4 weeks later.


    I'm with you on the comments, all the way.


    You mean you're not going to thank me for agreeing with you? How ... uncouth.

    I also agree with the comments in Comment No. 8. :-)


    E-mail replies are absolutely the way to go. I don't even necessarily read all the existing comments to a post before I comment, depending on the number of comments and the type of post. I'm certainly not going to go back later unless the blogger says that there's useful information there. (I also try not to comment without something new to say, especially when there're more than half a dozen comments before mine, which means I don't comment much to the more popular of the blogs I read, but still.)


    I agree with you on #2. Comments are for just that... comments. Not conversations. That's what email and chat rooms and message boards are for. I refuse to carry on conversations on my blog (with what few comments I get).


    I very much totally agree with you. I'm afraid it may be for mostly selfish reasons though. It is so much easier for me to respond to me (admittedly few) comments through email because typepad serves them up for me so nicely. Getting an email with the information about the original post and then the comment makes it so very nice to just reply and then all the pertinent details are already there. The discussion you made about having to go back and check all the places you may have commented is a very valid one as well. I cannot always remember all the places I have left comments in a day, which I consider to be a good thing because it means I have been an active blogger on that day.

    As far as the others, well I don't get nearly enough comments to make those issues too important for me but I have a feeling if I did I would agree with you. Oh, but I am peeved when people comment and ask me things that have absolutely nothing to do with the post I have made. They see something in the background of a picture and ask me where that was or something like that. I'm not a huge fan of totally unrelated.


    Thinking hard about number 2.
    I do feel it is somehow rude not to acknowledge a comment ( particularly praise! What can I say, my own family tends to ignore me ;))
    Usually I have something else to say other than just the "thank you."
    But on the receiving end of a brief thank you, I have found it nice but unnecessary.
    I guess good etiquette is mostly in the abbreviated form with computer communication.
    So here's a "Thank you" in perpetuity.

    Btw, I think the answering comments in the comments is a Blogspot-user solution to not receiving notice of comments by email. At least that's how it was described to me once.
    It is a nuisance.


    Thanks Norma! Really!


    Marcia Cooke

    No comment :)


    Oh, I'm so with you on #1. It's actually a pet peeve of my own. I know of one blogger (former, maybe?) who would constantly comment in her own comments- to respond to one comment. I always thought it was (a) pathetic, and (b) a chance for her to build her comments numbers. Reiterating....pathetic! Or maybe it was just the blogger. :)

    I have to admit that I would respond to almost every comment I had when I was a blogger, and sometimes it was with just a "thank you". I always knew it was lame and didn't require much effort on my part, but I wanted to thank the person for taking the time to write. Always a conundrum for me.

    Katie B.

    I usually try not to either comment or reply to comments unless I actually have something to say; I figure there's enough empty verbiage out there that I don't need to add to it. Also, thanks to gmail, I have completely fallen out of the habit of snipping emails - gmail does that for me in most cases, so I don't have to read all the past pieces of conversations (although my correspondents do if they don't use gmail, too). However, I'm usually very nice and reply at the top, not at the bottom (probably one of my biggest peeves).

    Also annoying is how Blogspot doesn't *let* you reply directly to comments; all comments come from "noreply@blogspot" or whatever. I have most of my regular commenter's emails anyway (including yours! even though I'd hardly call you a regular commenter ;P But then I'm not a regular poster), so if I feel the desire to reply to a comment, I can, again through the magic of gmail (gods I love it!).

    I have never replied to comments in my comments. I don't go back and read other people's comments after I'm done, why would I expect anyone else to keep coming back to mine that way? I have a hard enough time convincing myself to edit posts, even if I only just completed them!

    I do hate to leave a thank you dangling in the wind - I was brought up to have good manners, kthxbai. But it does get awkward trying to figure out how to reply to it meaningfully, so I usually end up not replying. And now my lit-major soul wants to put a conclusion on this ramble, but I don't really have one, so I will mere say that you are always a spot of brightness in my day, if for no other reason than that you use correct grammar!


    OK--here's my problem. If you leave a comment on my blog, it doesn't give me the option of emailing you. I have an older blog service, and even though I didn't start blogging until about 3 years ago, until the last few months, it didn't even offer the option of someone commenting unless they had an account there, too. So I don't really have a high traffic blog....


    Okay... if we're not supposed to reply to comments via email, why do we get the email address ?? hello?
    And why would this lad think that the responses to the comments (and the responses to the responses) would maintain any continuity or relevance to the original post? My conversations are constantly morphing into something completely off topic from the original post. (we sometimes amuse ourselves by maintaining the original subject line though).
    When my response to a comment really is on topic and likely to be relevant AND interesting to the readership at small (I don't have a large readership...), I include it in a new post!

    And furthermore, it's only because I DO respond to comments via email that I have several relationships now. Relationships that have gone so far as to include face to face visits...even overnight stays in each others' houses! I'm to put directions to my house in the comments stream? I think not.

    Meanwhile, I will continue to send "thank you" messages to first time commenters. Since you no longer qualify as a first time commenter on my blog (which still tickles me, you know), I won't just "thank you". I'll likely engage you in some long drawn out conversation that leads to visitation and stuff.


    I was recently at a science blogging conference (Yes, I swear there really is such a thing) and in the session called "Building Interactivity into Your Blog--Beyond Comments" the advice on comments was to not join the discussion in the comments on your own blog because it may stifle the conversation. Or something like that. Don't comment in your own comments was the advice, at any rate. Or, only do so minimally. So, Mr. Canadian was wrong.

    Personally, I enjoy getting email from people about the comments I make. It's nice to get an email that isn't a seminar announcement or some sort of spam.


    Ha. I love Stacey...
    WRT #3, people who use Haloscan to get notification of comments get two choices - they either have to click the email link and get a fresh email and remember to put in a related subject (which I sometimes forget) or they can reply to the comment itself, in which the subject line is "You have new comments" or some such. I know there are other programs that do a similar thing. Sometimes we forget and get outsmarted by technology.
    As for the guy who answers comments in his comments, unless 4 million people asked/said the same thing, I think that's just lazy. But what do I know? I do it for free too.


    I've taken to replying to people's comments in the comments because I get asked the same question three times and it's JUST TO SHUT THEM UP!!!!! And also to kind of show other commenters that I found something interesting or funny. And also because I don't have enough stuff to do already!


    Funny, I saw "comment pet peeves" and thought it might be pet peeves about people commenting here. Or something to the like. It's interesting to get this perspective on replying to comments in one's own blog though. There was a time where I has a blog and worried about whether to respond via e-mail or comments or not at all... very confusing, honestly. I LIKE discussions in comments. But then there are commenters that don't check back for responses, which is also understandable.

    I second Tammy's request for ins-and-outs of Comments for lurkers. :)


    WRT KatieB's comment, WHY doesn't Blogspot allow us to reply directly to commenters? That's been the only peeve I have had since switching from Typepad - does anyone know the answer to that question? you can answer it on my blog so I can have tons of comments and think that people love me ;o)


    If I think the answer to a comment will be helpful to someone else reading later, then I will usually add my response within the original comment (with bold and italic text), but I send the commenter an e-mail as well, so they don't have to come back to get the answer.

    I read a LOT of blogs, but knowing how much I dislike the "that's awesome" comments that don't add anything to a discussion or make any kind of actual statement, I don't want to leave those kinds of comments on other kinds of blogs. Although sometimes I think of something witty, but then still don't comment because I'd rather err on the side of caution.





    I lost it at "wind beneath our peeves." I might not recover.


    I have two different views on comments. As a blogger, I hate the idea of commenting in my comments. Since it's my blog, I don't have many peeves about the commenting. I have complete control over the comments and the blog.

    As a commenter/visitor to blogs, I have one huge pet peeve. I hate, when I comment on some blogs, that my email address gets used to send me every single comment that gets posted after mine. I don't know why some blogs do this, but I really really wish they wouldn't. If I wanted to see all the other comments that get posted on an entry after mine, I'll go back and check the comments later. I hate getting spammed in my email, but then I'm a little compulsive about my inbox. Can I say I hate it again? I really hate it.

    Weirdly, I don't care of a blogger replies to my comment via email or in the comments. Most likely, if I found something interesting enough to comment on, then I'll be back to see what other people said about it anyways. (But I sure as hell won't go back if every single.freaking.comment gets sent as a separate email to me and most likely I won't comment again on that blog. Gah.) If I get an email reply, then that's great and if it turns into an interesting conversation that's even better.


    I'm totally with you on all of it but especially the bit about answering comments in the comments. I never really understood why a person would do that. Just weird.
    As a Blogger user I find it really annoying when people comment anonymously or just without their email. I appreciate readers (all 3 of them) and I'd love to acknowledge them and it really sucks when I can't.


    De-lurking here... but I just wanted to say thanks for putting a perspective out there. It's good to know as a blogger what people expect when they comment. I've used LiveJournal for many years and #1 is something I often do and wouldn't think twice about, because LJ is setup to have comment threads. You can reply below an individual comment and it is added to the blog and a copy is sent to the commenter via email. Etiquette within LJ is that it's expected to reply to comments within the comment thread and it's unusual to send a separate e-mail. It's good to know commenters not familiar with the LJ model might not like that.


    I answer questions in my own comments, but really I don't have much choice as long as I"m on blogger...which doesn't serve up email addresses the way typepad does. Until I get around to moving all my stuff to wordpress or something, it's that or not answer at all (unless the question is from someone whose email address I already have).

    I don't know if people actually go back and read the answers...and of course I don't think they're obligated to...but if someone I've never heard of asks a question without leaving an email address, what else can I do?

    elizabeth a airhart

    i am not a blog just a reader
    the comments are quite interesting
    i will tuck them in my note book and
    think about really will

    it has seemed to be cranky time and
    name calling on some non knitting
    pages i read the talk here and on harlots
    has been interesting ps i guess you would
    not like to link me or email me brad pitt
    if i asked nicely


    i'm behind. sorry.

    i have to agree with all 4 of your points. and i will stop thanking you for your compliments post-haste. i think i'll also have to thank that canadian dude about that thing called "bloglines". a "feed reader." what is that again? as for replying to comments in comments, sometimes people bring up something that should be shared with others in which case i update my post with that info, or i address it in my next post.

    but my pet peeves have more to do with my being a blog reader and commenter. i know that spam is a problem but i really hate having to "sign in" or prove that i'm human to comment. and honestly for most people who use typepad, for example, i don't think it's necessary. i get a healthy number of comments per post and i've gotten maybe a handful of spam comments over the years and i don't have some double secret posting thing set-up. of course i'm writing this comment not remembering if you have some double secret commenting password thing set-up. see, i'm not even afraid of you!



    FINE I won't thank you anymore - where is my 'you're welcome' email from Monday, anyway? *grin*


    Hmm, I don't think I do any of those, except maybe the second one occasionally. I get few enough comments that I can really afford to say something meaningful about each one, assuming that my brain is working at a given moment.

    At the other extreme I think people sometimes assume that bloggers who get a lot of comments can't possibly read every one. I know that the said bloggers can and do. I do probably try harder on those blogs to say something useful/substantive/relevant. How do you feel about "me too" comments?

    On political blogs it's common for whole discussions to take place in the comments, with the blogger participating if s/he chooses. I quite enjoy those discussions and will just leave the window up and hit refresh often. I can think of one very popular knitting blog where that happens. I think it's just a different style of interaction.

    As for comment peeves... sometimes I get anonymous comments and think I might know who they're from, but I'm not sure so I don't email the person. I might fix that by moving to typepad or wordpress, which I've been thinking about doing. Other than that, I can't really think of anything -- again, I don't get huge numbers of comments.


    I have to tell you this more about the medium than the message. I am very new to blogging...and I got on the bandwagon b/c I read all these marvelous blogs, such talented, inspiring women. I was seduced. and then, I had this realization - while I may have some tiny bit of creativity in me, I am not very much like these women. they are ummm what is the word? delightful :) NICE! So, I don't often blog, and I feel a little stilted and not natural when I do. As though I'm editing myself before the fingers find placement.

    Now, you and your blog are delightful and nice too but! In a different way. I'm dancing around this can you tell? So...let's make it short.

    TY for saying Fuck! Really. Yes, really. I wish I could explain just why I need to thank you -but I can't yet I do. I feel somehow unburdened when I read your blog - no matter what you're talking about. TY again.


    Rachel H

    Damn. I was gonna apologize on behalf of my country for what that dude said, but Rabbitch beat me to it. Fair enuf.

    For me, as you know, comments are my freakin' life. I think you may have been the first blogger to respond to one of my comments via an email early in my career, and that's what made me go out and find more blogs and leave more comments and become the Commenter Extraordinaire I am today *ahem*. It never would have occurred to me to go back and see if someone had answered me in their own comments. And even if it had, I can't see it being easy for the true friendships I've found with bloggers to have developed via that medium. I mean, I'm certainly not going to be as much myself in a conversation shouted across a room that everyone can hear as I would be in a private chat over coffee.

    The comments to this entry are closed.


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