I remember the tomato-canning days of my childhood. Long, arduous days that began in the garden, picking bushels at dawn, then standing for 20 hours scalding, washing, peeling, coring, cutting, squishing the red sweetness into jars, then lifting the jars into four boiling-water-bath canners simultaneously cooking on the stove, until the feet and the back and the neck were aching; the skin was scalded and steamed; the hands were cut, dyed orange, and raw from the acid. The wallpaper was steamed off the walls. The house stank of stale tomato juice for days. Ah, good times.
In those days, it would not have been considered worth one's while to can four little pints of tomatoes.
Well, that was then; this is now.
...and then there were nine. ('coz I canned five pints a couple weeks ago.)
I'm not the only person in history who has waxed eloquent about the tomato. I've done my research. Check it out:
A tomato saved is a tomato earned. -- Benjamin Franklin
A picture is worth a thousand tomatoes. -- Chinese proverb
Ask not what your tomato can do for you; ask what you can do for your tomato. -- John F. Kennedy
Get thee to a cannery. -- William Shakespeare
A tomato's a tomato, no matter how small. -- Dr. Seuss
Good tomatoes make good neighbors. -- Robert Frost
Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a tomato instead of a rock. -- Sigmund Freud
Tomatoes or death? -- Eddie Izzard
For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through a can of tomatoes. -- Carl Sagan
Never discourage anyone who continually cans tomatoes, no matter how slow. -- Plato
A word in earnest is as good as a tomato. -- Charles Dickens, Bleak House
All my possessions for a jar of tomatoes. -- Elizabeth I
I did not have tomatoes with that woman. -- Bill Clinton
Fat-bottomed tomatoes, you make the rockin' world go 'round. -- Queen
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go-o-o, I wanna be tomatoed
Nothin' to do, no where to go-o-o, I wanna be tomatoed...
Posted by: Kristen | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 12:44 AM
A tomato a day keeps the doctor away. -anon
Snatch the tomato from my hand, grasshopper (and I shall ninja-kick your bony a$$ across the temple) --Venerable Shaolin monk
Take me home, country roads
To the place I belong,
In the kitchen, cannin' 'maters,
Take me home, country roads.... - John Denver
(the new Official Colorado State Song)
('cause we take our tomaters seriously here...)
Posted by: Tish | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 02:53 AM
Heh.
You are all freaks. You, and those who comment.
And yes, I'm a freak too. I'm allergic to tomatoes and eat them by the bushel. Peck. Bucket. Lots.
Posted by: Rabbitch | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 05:16 AM
Did Rabbitch call us all Tomatoes?? I thought so.
Gave me a good laugh as I sit here all tomato because I have to wake up at the crack of tomato.
And BTW? I believed Bill Clinton when he said he did not have tomatoes with that woman.
Posted by: sandy | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 05:41 AM
First of all, Sandy, I think we need to define "tomatoes" and "with."
And Norma, don't forget the Little Engine that Could: "I think I can tomatoes."
Posted by: jessie | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 06:30 AM
the queen reference did it all (and i don't mean miss E!)
Posted by: minnie | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 07:32 AM
Oh, NORma! Thank you for the morning laugh.
Posted by: Carole | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 07:49 AM
Ah yes, the noble tomato...I searched all summer for a Folly food mill just to put up some tomato sauce.
Posted by: Tracey | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 08:26 AM
In a heap of tomatoes here, chortling,chuckling...
Still tomatoed after all these years.....
Posted by: marianne | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 08:36 AM
"Life is like a can of tomatoes... you never know what you're going to get." ~Forrest Gump
Posted by: Sara | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 08:43 AM
you say tomaaatoes i say taymaatoes
lets call the whole thing off
fred and ginger
any thing you can do
i can do better i can
do any thing
better then you
merman
in the middle of winter whenit is so cold home made soup and home canned fruit or jam with biscuts and a little salsa on the side and home made ice cream
Posted by: elizabeth a airhart | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 09:22 AM
"There's only two things that money can't buy, and that's true love and home grown tomatoes." - Guy Clark, song writer
My mother taught me 'open kettle' canning for tomatoes. Now they know it isn't safe, but I guess we survived all those jars.
Posted by: mary lou | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 09:43 AM
We have to have a canning talk. I like the idea, but am a little freaked out that I'll give my family botchulism. And we have an ample supply of cannable (that just sounds WRONG) stuff from our CSA. So far, I've made a bunch of pesto and frozen it in the jelly jars (which are freezer safe). I guess I'm a canning-wanna-be.
Posted by: Kathy | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 09:55 AM
Ha ha hah, awesome quotes!! Mmmmm.. 'matoes....
Posted by: jessica~ | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 10:54 AM
Oh, Norma. I miss canning tomatoes so much, and I am so looking forward to being back in my own home during tomato season next year, for the first time since 2004. We are going to have canned tomatoes up the wazoo next year, guaranteed. In the meantime, can I come have spaghetti at your house this winter?
Posted by: jodi | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 11:15 AM
I am as stressed out as can be, I thought nothing could make me laugh. I was SO WRONG. Love ya Norma!
Posted by: gale (she shoots sheep shots) | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 11:59 AM
Give me tomatoes or give me death!
Posted by: Cookie | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 12:49 PM
99 jars of tomatoes on the wall, 99 jars of tomatoes... you take one down, pass it around, 98 jars of tomatoes on the wall....
hee hee love the quotes!
Posted by: maryse | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 01:09 PM
to bad you aren't closer, i could drown you in tomatoes this year and i bet JoVE could help out as well... I feel a bit like Old Lady who lived in a shoe, she had so many tomatoes she didn't know what to do!
Posted by: Justine | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 02:20 PM
Oh Lord, stuck in Tomato again.
Equally classic, "Tomato In The Wind." *snfl*
And I'll never forget the performance I saw of "Tomato" by Led Zeppelin...but, y'know how if you weren't stoned, that drum solo seemed to go on forever? It was even worse live.
Kinda made you wish for a tomato to throw...
Posted by: MonicaPDX | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 03:18 PM
Tomatoes are more important than knowledge--Einstein
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a tomato.--Jane Austen
We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of tomatoes.--Declaration of Independence
Posted by: Elisabeth | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 03:50 PM
Norma, I have been roasting tomatoes lately. I have had quite a few grape tomatoes and have cut them in half, placed them in a baking dish, drizzled them with some olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt. Then into the oven they go -- around 400° for 30 minutes. Then I let them cool and scoop them into a freezer bag where they will stay until winter when they are used in soups and sauces.
Just sayin --
Posted by: Karin | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 04:38 PM
Reminder: Grey's Tomato is on tonight. Don't miss it.
Posted by: sandy | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 05:32 PM
Have you read Portrait of the Artist as a Young Tomato? How about The Turn of the Lid?
Grrls, do you think that you can
Put tomatoes in a can
You will find it positively fascinating...
Posted by: Lucia | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 05:42 PM
Have you seen that movie? How Stella Got Her Tomatoes Back...
Posted by: Cookie | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 08:11 PM
Hi, Those were the good old days canning tomatoes. They tasted better then they do now. Don't you agree.! ! !
Posted by: Jean | Thursday, October 04, 2007 at 08:39 PM
Quite the round up of tomatoes...
While my tomato gently weeps...
(Norma, I got in late last night, feeling just a tad broken and came back to 'catsup' on the comments and laughed, and snorted, til the tears were running down my face.. thank you so very much for this post and for everyone who left a comment... might just have saved my life..didn't feel nearly so broken) :^)
Posted by: marianne | Friday, October 05, 2007 at 08:53 AM
WWTTD?
What would The Tomato do?
Posted by: Diane T | Friday, October 05, 2007 at 09:16 AM
i can't get no..canning action...
Posted by: rocketbride | Monday, October 08, 2007 at 07:14 PM
How do I love thee? Let me count your tomatoes.
Posted by: Cristina | Wednesday, October 10, 2007 at 08:10 AM
OK, I'm inspired to try canning. I got tomatoes, I got canning jars, I got theory... I need advice from a practitioner. Do you use something to acidify your tomatoes per USDA recommendations of vinegar, lemon juice, or citric acid? (I don't know where to find citric acid, in my supermarket, it's not with the pectin.)
Posted by: Ina | Wednesday, October 10, 2007 at 02:12 PM
"What fresh tomato is this?" - Dorothy Parker
Posted by: jeanne | Friday, October 12, 2007 at 12:46 PM
And not to be overlooked that classic, "The Tomato that ate Cleveland".
Posted by: Lydstr | Wednesday, October 31, 2007 at 10:02 AM