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    « Superbowl Fare | Main | Presenting Hepburn »

    Monday, February 07, 2005


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    Jo in Ottawa

    Walk away from the yarn. Go and make a hot toddy. Now. it will calm you down. Watch some crap on the tele. Any mind-numbing crap you like. Or go to and find Just A Minute on Radio 4 and just laugh yourself silly (and remember good times in the UK; actually apparently BBC7, only on the internet, runs OLD episode so just a minute, the news quiz, and sorry I haven't a clue). this will make you feel happy. The hot toddy will help. Sleep. Eat a good breakfast. Do the math in teh morning when well rested and well fed. Finish something else before even thinking about the must have.


    zoinks... "Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays." (please, please tell me you've seen Office Space)...

    I totally pictured you stomping about with that skein? lump? of yarn in your raised, clenched fist, hollering up at the sky, complete with an overhead camera shot that pulls back to a full shot of mounds of UFOs moving toward you.

    Wow, I've either got to stop watching so many movies, or cut back on the Tostito cheese dip. It'll be better in the morning, won't it????


    This sounds like a job for....Super Rogue!

    I mean, you totally know how to make that. What could go wrong??



    Ouch. On behalf of the spicy Italian fling, I'm hurt by the ivory cast on. But the Italian stallion must be used in a pattern you love and with a sweater you will wear a lot, so if the Must Have is too much frustration... I know, I know, you ARE co-sponsoring the KAL, you twice-daily poster you. What I do is wait for many other people to use the pattern and then learn from their experiences. It's the lazy bitch way, but usually it's worth it.


    I probably shouldn't tell you that your post made me feel better, but it did. I was thinking I was the only one with the stupid sweater made twice with two patterns with the same stupid yarn that still looks like toasted crap and no patience to rip the whole damn thing to shreds so it's stuffed behind the couch. So thanks for making this "newbie" feel a bit less alone. Love the blog - I'm back to my usual lurking now.


    Excellent use of the word "crap!" Sounds like my dad--I almost feel like I'm living at home again! :)

    I'm afraid the Must Have is kicking butt here too. And I've only begun the sleeve twice. I'm going to rip it tonight and start a front piece instead.


    If you say "crap" one more time I'm going to have to come over there and slap you. Quit it. NOW.


    Were you pulling an "I'll show you"? Carrying on and casting on the Must Have in Cascade 220 right in front of the one who done you wrong?? Shameless.

    Teresa C

    Ummmmm.......maybe someone needs some self esteem counseling?

    Lisa in Oregon

    Is that the sound of the Kiss of Death...Ms. Crippie Crap?? The more I read about futzing with this, making this look better, doing that the other way, the more I want to run and hide from Must Have. I am beginning to think I like the wait-n-see attitude expressed by Lauren above. Let's just casually stroll away from Must Have until other, more anal, more organized, more obstinate people have a go....


    Thank you. You have confirmed my suspicion that not only must I NOT have this sweater, but that it would likely be illegal for me to even look at another picture of it.

    Back! Back foul pattern!


    Is it the nasty increases? I just said no to the increases and cast on the number of stitches I needed for the foundation row and worked backwards from there to set the ribs. I can refigure the chart tomorrow for the Med. if it will help.


    Ok, I must be crap too because that math doesn't work for me. 111 stitches. 3x2 and 3/3/3 twice. I can't make those combos work up to 111.


    GASP! COULD Jenifleur be right?? Could it be CRAP itself?
    Like I said to you. CAst on, hand to David, have him check. Or..put markers in every 10 stitches or so.
    OR have a drink and knit something else.
    I know that you will kick this sweaters ASS. You go girl!


    Having been through my own knit crisis which involved throwing yarn and needles across a room (literally, because frustrating knitting makes me FIVE again - only now with expletives) I can completely understand how you feel.

    And if it makes you feel any better, I generally have to start a project multiple times because the math knocks the CRAP out of me. If I had known there was so much math in knitting I would've taken up Physics or something, you know, light on the math.

    Good luck. Persevere. Or give up. Whichever makes your head hurt less.

    Mary Beth



    I like Judas Priest, myself.
    Or Crime-inelly.
    Or Jiminy Cricket.
    All of these are things my mother used to say while driving. A lot.
    Fingers crossed, wait for the light to change.
    If it's any consolation, it took me all of one day to get the right number of stitches cast on and knit once for my norwegian cardigan. It was humbling.


    The harlots curse? I assure you, Norma my pet...that the Harlot's curse would never punish you for not finishing something.

    Just ride the wave of craptastic and put a stitch marker before the 3x3.


    Hey there Miss Crap-You need to stop this right now! You are not crap! I look forward to reading your blog everyday, and if you were crap I would not do that! I have never felt the need to post a comment to you before now. Thanks for making me smile, and don't give up on that sweater!


    Norma, are far too hard on yourself. It's only yarn, a silly sweater and you are better than that. Sounds like you need (ed) a break or perhaps all that nut free chocolate has gone to your head. Time to clear it out. Make it work for can always increase where you need an extra purl or knit and force the ribs into submission. Kim sent you stitch markers....use them, too. Take over the yarn, you can do it!

    Mary Beth

    (did it work? my reverse psychology?)


    Don't make me come over there and open a can of Barney Fife on your ass.


    Arggh! The purse didn't work out?! CRAP! Shit! Fukitall! Was it the grommets? Do I need to make them easier to attach? I'll be right over--and we'll fix it, hon.

    Personally, I can't believe you got them already! What's up with the postal service, huh? Efficiency?! Say it aint' so!!

    BTW, you're an amazing woman AND marvelous knitter, ya dorkus. Sounds like you're needing some homeopathic somethingorother. Big hugs. xxooxxoo


    OOHHH, you DIDN'T ruin the purse. Whew!!! I"ll still come over and we'll swear and knit the rest of the day, ok?

    Seanna Lea

    Umm, I think the patterns math might be a little off.

    3+2 ribbing equals 5 stitches to me, and 3+3+3 twice equals 18 stitches. I can see 118 and 113 stitches that pattern. Are there possibly 2 extra stitches that just get slipped or something? Otherwise, it looks like they are just wrong.


    Honey, they have medication for that now. ;-)


    Is it possible you have done too much knitting? Could that be it? Please don't let the Must Have have it's way with you. It can be tamed. Breathe, and again. Maybe the orange yarn was meant to be an Inishmore. We can wait for a good photo op of the beaded bag, oh, does it have a name?


    Take a break. Go out for tequilla. Blow of some steam. Try again tomorrow. (Assuming you didn't overdo it with the tequilla)


    Yes, I agree with Erin~ take a break. Work on something totally mindless and come back to Must Have when you are not overloaded. You probably have a million and one things going on inside your head, and dealing with pesky knitting is not a "must have". Step away and chill! :)


    I agree with all above - the universe is telling you to take abreak. Listen, or more will go wrong :-)


    W.T.Fuck Norma...stop crapping on yourself. Give yourself a break! ;-)


    Heartfelt thanks from someone who has put more than one sweater on timeout. (Last month I myself was put on timeout when I threw some sweater pieces on the floor and *stamped on them* after botching the third attempt to seam the set-in sleeve.)

    I love knitting. I honestly find it relaxing. And then there are times when it turns out I am a raving loony incapable of counting (or doing arithmetic, or measuring my own arms). I can't tell you what a relief it is to know I'm not the only one who gets this way.


    OK, for the record I do not have the Must Have Pattern, so I may be talking out of my left nostril here but:

    111 stitches - 2(9) = 93.

    If the 3 x 2 ribbing is balanced across the cast-on edge, then you need to end with a lone 3 (like in lace knitting where you have the repeat and then a couple of stitches at the end to make everything symmetrical?)

    In which case, 93 - 3 = 90 which is a multiple of 5.

    So, pictorially (where the stuff in the brackets is the knitting equivalent of an ellipsis,

    xxx--xxx--[3/2 ribbing]xxx---xxx[ribbing]xxx---xxx[ribbing]xxx--xxx--xxx

    Does this make sense?


    OK, missy, just walk away from the yarn. Don't look back, just walk firmly and with purpose in the opposite direction. You are to ignore this yarn completely for the next 48 hours while you read a self-esteem book of your choosing. Then, only after you have spent 48 hours rolling your eyes at the ultimate cheesaliciousness of said book and realizing that you have way more self esteem than the individual who wrote such cheese, you may contemplate rerolling the yarn into a ball. Then walk away again. After 24 hours, during which you will read aloud and guffaw at your favorite cheesy parts of said book, you may once again pick up said yarn. But only after a good yoga session. Doc K said so, damnit!

    Eklectika's pronounced PAYTON'S???

    Well, at least I can pronounce the Noro yarn names correctly...can't have it all, I suppose, LOL!


    Just a thought...Is it grey there?


    Personally I think all the chocolate has gone straight to poor Norma's brain.


    Perhaps it is time for a diet soda???


    first time on this site.but don't feel bad had the same problem girls wanted socks out ofthis funny bubbly wool i can't do it it won't work. lol.even on 8 mm needles it won't work for them.don't be to angry at the wool
    make balls out of it and do what i did.... give it to the cats that u know. they will love it to death.


    i like son-of-a-beehive-and-blackjack-and-turkey toes.always makes everyone look at me as if i had really swore.or mother of a beehive that flippen son-of-a gee string hurt. it is just like saying at the worse part of the day u r going to beat ur always said it is the thaught that counts not what u do.

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