341. Feel Free to Prick The Biscuits - A Dream Analysis

I have a weird and active dream life, but most of the time I don't remember the dreams. Often I wake up at the time and sort of analyze the dream myself, vow to remember it and its lessons because they are always.so.profound.dontchaknow, and then I wake up the next morning unable to remember anything except, "I had a nightmare," or "I had a really good dream," or "I had a sexy dream," or "I had a stupid dream."  Sometimes I work out problems in a dream -- well, I guess almost by definition everyone works out problems in their dreams -- that's a theory as to what they're for -- but I mean tangible problems like, for example, I had left a portion of my front yard unlandscaped for many years, and it REALLY NEEDED A SOLUTION. I just had no ideas, and nothing seemed right.  It took maybe 10 years for the solution to suddenly appear to me in a dream.  A stonemason was called, and it was done. And it was good.  And then the next day I, you know, created a man from my rib or something. 

BUT the other night I had a dream, and it was a good one -- good in a crazy and blog-related way -- and even better, I remembered it, so of course I have to tell you all about it.  Don't worry, I wasn't sleeping with any of you.  Those I will keep to myself, thankyouverymuch.  Well, maybe not.  If they are especially juicy and delicious in a stupid way, don't you worry -- you'll be the first to know, my closest 1,700 friends.

Anyhoo.  I know you are just on the edges.of.your.seats, so I will get on with it. 

The dream:

My friend Vicki wrote me an email.  She had a burning question.  She said, "I have never made biscuits before.  I made some, and I stuck a fork in them once to make a design of little punch holes.  I want to know, is it OK to put a fork in them MORE THAN ONCE?"

I write her back.  I say, "Oh, yes!  You can stick a fork in it once or more than once, and it will not harm your biscuits.  You can even make two parallel designs OR you can make it in Xs or perpendicular marks.  I do it all the time!"

ROFL. 

W
T
F
?

 

 

Comments

[Kristen]

Yes, baby, stick the fork in me. Repeatedly. PLEASE!!!

I just have the same set of anxiety dreams over and over again. Sometimes my brain mixes it up, but the ones I remember are usually those produced by my brain's stress centers.

[Alli]

I learn things in my dreams all the time! Occasionally I find myself stuck on things and just cannot figure out the proper way to do it. For example: downshifting on a manual transmission. Could not understand how to do it! It seems so simple now that it is very funny but I couldn't do it, couldn't understand how it would work until I had a dream in which I did it.

I also learned fractions, a particular way to turn a hem knitting and various other small simple skills that I have been stuck on in lucid life.

[Mary K. in Rockport]

Maybe it's time for a mammogram?

[Carole]

I do make biscuits and I don't ever stick them with a fork. Just sayin.

[Cathy]

I think you just want biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Then you can stick the fork in them as many times as it takes to eat them. :)

[Manise]

When particularly stressed I used to dream that I was in a car going down a hill without brakes or much steering. Once I learned how to drive I never had that dream again. It was replaced by my being chased by someone ( a bad man) who I couldn't see and one or both of my legs would not function properly- so I couldn't run away, only walk fast.

American biscuits don't get pricked with a fork, but crackers do. :-)

[margene]

Vicki, of all people, would know about sticking a fork in her biscuits.

[B.]

Piet Hein said it better than I could:

DREAM INTERPRETATION
Simplified.

Everything's either
concave or -vex,
so whatever you dream
will be something with sex.

[gayle]

Hmmm... Forking a biscuit... I was going to try to think of something to say, but I'm just going to drop it and move on.
Stick a fork in me, I'm done?

[sandy]

ROFL!
Mmmm...biscuits! (With or without fork holes)
LX

[Joy]

Biscuits? Yum! I think you do stick a fork in beaten biscuits before baking - maybe a southern thing?

[Vicki]

I haven't remembered a dream in ages. Maybe that's why I'm showing up in yours.
And I wonder what I meant by that question!
; )
Too good.
XO

[Roxie]

I think Norma must make forkin' good biscuits.

[kathy]

Good one. I had a dream last week that I was summoned by Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King to do some good work--never got down to the details. I was in total shock that they asked for me and was talking to someone and trying to figure it out. Then they reminded me that the Kings were dead. Still want to know what I'm supposed to be doing.

[Cindy (maxfun)]

Sounds like something you should be over and done with is, instead, being revisted time and time again. Thus the repetition of "stick a fork in it, it's done."

Maybe there's something you need to let go of?

Or maybe you're just craving some really good biscuits! :)

[Birdsong]

That is a pretty funny dream... I hope you had some bisquits this weekend. I trained myself to remember and write down my dreams back when I was preggers with DD and having the most vivid ones. Now, I don't bother with writing many down, but am grateful to know how to go back to sleep and 're-dream' the nightmares into something better. Usually.

[Cookie]

Sometimes, a biscuit is just a biscuit.

[April]

You have a subconscious desire to be Richard Gere in "American Gigolo" as evidenced by your repeated use of the "prick" in a variety of different ways, upon a number of "biscuits" (biscuits being a euphemism for women here).

Shake that moneymaker, baybee!

[elizabeth a airhart]

next time you have a dream do wake us up
we will all get up make a cup of tea
sit in the dark before our screens
sing good night norma it was that last glass of wine

[sil]

Any dream with bread in it is a good dream. I think it's just about bread, not anything else. Maybe you were hungry.

[minnie]

you need to quit forking around in your sleep, norma *duckz*

[Cheryl S.]

Fork me baby! Oh, yes! Fork me again!

[Lucia]

Observing that you already have all the gutter humor you could possibly need, I'll go with simple: there's no wrong way to make biscuits, or garden, or knit, as long as it tastes good (or looks good, in the case of knitting) and makes you happy.

[Diane]

Maybe Vicky needs a suggestion of a WORD to fork in her biscuits?
Anything come to mind??? Hmmm????

[scoutj]

you are weird. just sayin'