Now Norma Knits

304. Pop Quiz

This picture illustrates:

a) The wonderful colors of Lauren's Coral Peace Fleece.

(I did this swatch at the request of Marilyn, who described herself yesterday as "Loyal Lurker."  Marilyn:  It is GORGEOUS.  You will not be sorry.)

b) How the Lauren's Coral compares to the Sheplova Mushroom color.

c) That the weight of the new Peace Fleece is lighter, and it's softer, than before. 

(It must be that they are using a new mill, and I think I like the change!) (OK, maybe you can't see that from the picture, but work with me here.)

d) That progress is being made on Marta in the Spice Mountain Mohair and that it is LOVELY. 

(Ally saw it in person the other day and said it had not photographed accurately.  This close-up might give a better idea of just how beautiful that yarn is.)

e)  I finally got KnitPicks Options needles. 

(I love them, but last night I found that they kept unscrewing at the joins. Anybody else have that issue?)

f)  I am exhausted.

g) Gray's Anatomy is about to begin, so I have no time for a blog entry.

h)  All of the above.

P.S.  Oh, Happy Halloween or whatever. 

303. The Swatchbuckler

The Swatch Nazis in Utah, when I was visiting last summer, told me I have to swatch. Cripes. So I've been a regular little swatchbuckler lately, to get ready for a sweater I'm planning to make. Well, as usual, I got perfect gauge. I swear to you, I'm not bragging (If it's the truth, it's not bragging, right?) when I say I always get perfect gauge. One of these days the gauge gods will smite me, I suppose, for being so smug. And then there are those who say that gauge swatches lie, so the mere fact that I get perfect gauge might actually mean nothing. 

So why exactly do we do this again?

I LOVE this yarn. I definitely definitely DEFINITELY want this for a sweater for ME. It's Rowan Magpie Tweed, in an oatmeal color.  I don't think it wants to be this sweater for this person, though.  (Besides, I don't want to share.)

This one is, yes, perfect gauge.  It's local Vermont wool, the concept of which I love.  You know me and how I feel about "local."  I love this color for this sweater and this recipient. But this swatch is more like a loofah than a sweater.  I did not know this when the yarn was in the skein, before I knitted it up.  It'd be more appropriate as an exfoliator in a pedicure package.  One of you is going to get this with a bar of soap and a jar of foot cream for Christmas. (You think I'm kidding?) Or it could be a pot scrubber, come to think of it.  Don't use it on your Teflon pans, or it will mar them. 

Also, I have learned, through interviewing the intended recipient of this future sweater, that he is a little bit of a princess-and-the-pea kind of person, and also that an Aran-weight sweater might be too heavy and hot for him, so we might be switching to a Plan B.  Plan B is in the R & D phase at the moment, and let me just say that now is a far, far better time to find this out than after I started (or, horrors, finished) knitting a man's sweater. 

So.  I have learned something here:

I should swatch to find out what yarns I don't want to use in my sweaters.

-------------

Today is Another Winner Day!  We have some winners to tell you about. 

-----------

1 skein Berrocco Ultra Alpaca Fine + 14 oz Soak + $20 gift card to Kaleidoscope Yarn Shop goes to: Leah
 
Black Bunny sport 100% superwash merino in Brazilwood, organically dyed. 350yds + mini quilt goes to: Cheryl M.

The Secret Life of a Knitter + 100 yds Lobster pot 100% cashmere + handwarmer pattern + $10.00 Gift Certificate to Anne Hanson's online shop goes to: Jane L.
 
2 x 430 yds, superwash sock yarn -  'Fire on the Mountain' and 'Twilight' goes to: Katie C.  (Katie is another one of those lucky ones like Cynthia!  She already won in an earlier draw.  That's the way with random chance.  It is truly random.)

Check your email boxes, winners.  Paula will be writing you soon, if she hasn't already, asking you for your mailing addresses.  Thanks again to everyone!
 

The current total reported to us is $2,795* from 86 donors. Can we make it 100 donors, do you think? 

*This differs from the much larger total reported to me by the OFA. (Yay!)

 

302. Sweet Pink Nipples

After the first lecture yesterday morning, when I lifted my head from the editing I was doing on the laptop, miraculously there was a table of cupcakes in the front of the room.  I asked Ally what it was all about, and she didn't know at first.  She briefly asked around, then said, "It's a fundraiser for breast cancer research. They're asking for $2 each." 

Those med students are always up to something nice like that.  So we only had about three minutes left to our break, and I seriously needed my morning Diet Coke (yes, I'm still doing that). I pulled a five out of my wallet and hurriedly gave it to her.  "Here. Get one for me and for you, and leave the five in the basket.  I'm going to go get a Diet Coke."  So I rushed to the vending machine and back, and came into the room to find...

...a booby on my desk.  (though I'm a bit confused about the white nipple)

I came home a little bit obsessed with breast cupcakes. You do not want to see my computer browsing history; I'm just sayin'. I'm leaving alone the Janet Jackson ones I found, and some Flickr pictures of an obese guy holding cupcakes up to his chest.  But look at these cute ones that I found. Ally, we weren't thinking fast enough -- we totally missed our photo op.

On another topic, I am sorry for all the cerebral explosions I caused yesterday. I found it extremely interesting to learn that the percentage of people whose brains exploded in relation to those who said, "I get it," those who Just Walked Away (Sandy), and other court reporters, rather echoes the dropout rate at our court reporting school (about 95%).  So you see, what I say about aptitude is borne out.  I believe this pie chart that I made illustrates my point:

301. That Freaky Thing That I Do

The other night a male student approached my student client in organic chemistry class and said, "I was just saying the other day to [insert name] that [insert my student's name] must be in this class, because that typing lady is in there." 

THAT

TYPING

LADY

!

*giggle*

I took him to task for that a little bit, and he said, "I'm sorry.  I don't know your name."  So I introduced myself and we shook hands, and, well....

The TYPING LADY SPEAKS.  Hee.

------------------------

It was a hoot getting your reactions to the steno suggestions on the screen the other day.  I love the "How do you DO that?!" phenomenon that occurs in court and at school.  And I remember, even as a freshman in court reporting school, looking at the advanced outlines ("outlines" is what we call them) that the seniors were using.  It seemed impossible.  And at first it is -- your fingers and your brain just don't want to go there.  But eventually, if you have the aptitude -- and I truly do believe it's an "aptitude thing" -- it is doable.  The steno keyboard is "magic."  Or it could be described as "evil." Take your pick. 

This is what it looks like, though there are no markings on the keys, because it would be of no help to have them there, given the speeds with which we stroke, and given that the keys mean not only what they are, but when used in combination with other keys, are read as other letters.  It just has to be memorized.

For the KA KA short form, the original phrase would be written as six strokes on the keyboard, as follows:

KAR

PWOPB (read "BON")

KAR

PWOPB

TKUBL

PWOPBD (read "BOND")

or, to confuse matters worse, I would actually write it like this, in order to avoid any possible word boundary problems.  In other words, the word "carbon" written as KAR/PWOBP (or KAR/BON is how it's read) could create a potential conflict, if defined as "carbon" the next time someone said something like, I don't know..... "We had a car bonfire with all the junk cars."  Which, you can probably see, would be a mistake if it came out, "We had a carbon fire with all the junk cars."  That's just a small example of the kinds of word boundary issues that haunt me in my work every day.  So, to try to head those problems off at the pass a little more, and to make things a lot more complicated, I would write:

KARB

KWROPB

KARB

KWROBP (read "YON," and this tells the computer to attach the "-ON" to the word previous, and not the word following)

TKUBL (read "DUBL")

PWOPBD (read "BOND")

So, yeah, now you can see why two strokes, KA KA, would make my life only about 1,000% easier, eh?

----------------------

Someone wrote:  "I don't see how AORBGS could be across carbon-carbon double bonds.  Why wouldn't it be easier to write, A KA KA?" 

Well, here is the answer:  AORBGS is all written in one stroke, as opposed to typing it letter by letter.  A KA KA would be THREE strokes. It all has to do with the placement of the letters on the machine.  The AORBGS is "easy" to us, and if incorporated into our brains quickly (if it can be, depending on the speed of the matter), it is "easy" for us to read and assimilate. The RBGS is actually read by us in our brains as a comma, or to make matters more complicated, also as a "rks" sound at the end of a word like "works" which would be written WORBGS. (because there is no final "K" on the machine)

So AOBGS is sort of like AO, (A-O-comma) all stroked in one movement, like a piano chord.  Strokes are time.  Time is money, or energy, or something like that.  There's no way we could "type" 240 or 270 words a minute, but we CAN steno it for extended periods of time -- like, for a full class period, the length of a two-hour lecture, or a full DAY, even.  (Though without appropriate breaks and rest periods, that would kill me. But first, it would lead to repetitive strain and THEN kill me. Even worse than bubbles in my pee.)

Someone else asked how does TPHO*PL become "nomenclature."  Here is the answer:

Well, you have to understand the steno keyboard.  The TPH written together is read as an initial "N" (because there is no "N" in the keyboard, don't ask me why -- it just IS) -- the O is in the middle of the keyboard where the thumbs hit, and the asterisk is in the middle up top and is hit with the right first finger.  The PL together is a final "M".  All this is stroked at once, like a piano chord.  That's why it can happen so fast, and that's why this is a "brief form."  Otherwise, nomenclature would be stroked in FOUR strokes (which we HATE) and would look like this (each line is a stroke on the keyboard):

TPHOEPL
EPB
KLAEU
TAOUR

...believe it or not, though each steno writer writes a little differently, and there are several more variations of this that could also be possible.  To add confusion, this professor has a British accent, and he pronounces the word, "num-EN-kla-ture" rather than "NOEM-en-clay-ture" like us cretins Americans -- and the way things are pronounced make a difference, too, because we write what we hear.  Again, it's a speed thing.  Hesitation means delay, even if it's just a microsecond's delay, which means mistakes and/or getting behind and missing what comes next. 

Remember, we are listening to every word, writing it, reviewing it on the screen to make sure it's coming out correctly, while at the same time the water of words is still flowing -- listen, think of steno outline, write, review, listen, think of steno outline, write, review.  It can't even be typed properly, because it's like a knitting pattern where it says the dreaded words, "WHILE AT THE SAME TIME" blah blah blah.

Have I confused you yet? 

What about now? 

Go get some coffee.  Or some chocolate.  You deserve it if you've stuck here through this. How about a cute picture of a guy in his new sweater?

No, I didn't knit it.  I bought it.  I wish I could say I knitted it, though. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S.  Today's winners in the Red Scarf Fund drive are:

1. signed MDK2 book + kit for Belinda wrap:  David.


2. 2 balls Trekking XXL in color 145 (a delightful orange variegated) + 2 skeins of Koigu KPPPM yarn
Cynthia

Lucky! She won the Handmaiden Cashmere & Silk earlier too.
 

3. LE Sundara sportweight superwash merino sock yarn - Cherry Blossom + two 50g skeins superwash sock yarn; 185 yds/skein; colourway "Happy":
Tracey F.

and

4. Ruby's green woven scarf:  Susie S.

300. Time For A New Sweater

Except for sleeping and showering, I have not taken this thing off since I finished it.   

(Photo shamelessly lifted from Jenn's site.)

People, that's 12 days in a row of wearing the same thing.  Isn't there some fashion rule against this? But it's so versatile!  From wearing it over all black, looking all chic and put-together for dinner at the CIA, to over khaki pants, to jeans, a jean skirt, a beige skirt, at home over sweatpants, over dark gray and tan and red and orange and black and blue for work, and.... well. 

Clearly, I am head over heels in love with this old schmatte in every way, and it is already a most beloved wardrobe piece.

I am so in love with it that I don't want to mess with success.  Not trusting that any other yarn would really cut the mustard in quite the same charming and perfect way (it's the mohair content and the colorations and the weight for a jacket-like garment that are just.so.PERFECT for my needs), I went ahead and ordered more Peace Fleece. 

I have always adored my Shaba Green Peace Fleece sweater (the one that's in the banner above my blog)... Well, I should say I love the yarn.  I like the sweater -- off my body more than on -- but I don't like the way it fits.  I hate the modified dropped shoulders, and it's too wide, and the cables sort of land in the wrong place on my front, if you know what I mean.  I love Kim Hargreaves patterns and I love her shaping.  Problem is, my shaping does not fit her pattern shaping.  Her pattern shaping assumes a woman's body with bigger hips and smaller waist, and, well, I'm not shapeless, but I'm less curvy than that.  Her patterns end up looking nice on me, but they make me look like I'm wearing a peplum rather than a nicely fitted garment. (Yes, I do know I could modify the shaping so it's not so severe, but...you know.  I'm lazy and under-confident about that.)

I have finally learned that I love cardigans more than pullovers, especially when it's really cold.  I like pullies, but I like them to be in lighter-weight, soft-against-the-skin silks, cottons or wools. 

I was going to rip out the green one and reknit it, but we started trying to do that while in Rhinebeck, and it was looking to be a nightmare. Because of the mohair content and the fact the sweater's been washed a few times, it has felted a bit. Too much trouble to rip out.  I've decided to ship the super-warm and pretty sweater off to Mongolia or Afghanistan and make me a new one with new yarn.  So I ordered more Shaba Green.  And while I was in the website, I decided to order some of the new Lauren's Coral, too, just to see what it looks like.  (Answer:  Awesome.  A perfect-for-me salmony pink.)

There are lots of good cardigan patterns out there, and now that I seem to have my knitting mojo back on Full/High, I am considering several -- two from ChicKnits are in the running -- Cassidy and Twist.  But I think I might just go ahead and make another Central Park without a hood. I think Peace Fleece would be too hefty for either of those ChicKnits designs (although Carole certainly proved that it can be done in the case of Twist), and I'd like to do those patterns someday in drapier, lighter yarns. So it looks like it'll be like every other thing in my wardrobe -- exactly the same thing in multiple colors.  I guess why should I change my M.O. now?!

Now the question is, which color? 

Wanna vote? 

Take your time deciding, though.  In the meantime, Marta (being knit up in Green Mountain Spinnery Mountain Mohair Spice) and I are becoming reacquainted.

Look at the clever hidden waist shaping in this girl.  Can you see it at the top of the photo? (That's on the inside of the sweater, invisible from the outside.)

Julie is another one of those talented designers I'm a huge fan of.  And responsive, too.  I had laid this sweater down for many months and had misplaced huge parts of the pattern.  Within a few hours via the wonders of email, Julie had taken care of me.  We, in the age of email and small-business, responsive professional designers, are a lucky bunch, aren't we?  I'm zooming right along with this sweater and it is looking gorgeous! I'm so glad I picked it up again. 

299. Mitten Deliciousness

We'll be having big drawings of multiple prizes on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday of this coming week. Get your donations in and email us at redscarffund@gmail.com to be entered.  There are some really great things left to come, including loads of wonderful sock yarns, cashmere, shop gift certificates, quilts and scarves, books, and a sweater's worth of Rowan Magpie.  It'll all be gone as of this Saturday, so if you want in, get your donations in and let us know!
--------------------------------------------------

There's been frost on the pumpkins in the mornings of late. 

Good timing for having completed my Dimorphous mittens. 

Inside are the soft, smooth, lightweight Trekking (Colorway 110) liner mitts, which can be worn on their own when it's cool enough for a little something-something on the hands, but not super-cold.

Then when it gets colder, put on the second layer, made of beautiful Manos del Uruguay silk-wool blend (mine is Color 3055, a dark moss green), accented with a button that is not only functional, but it also gives it class and panache.

I dreamed of these mittens.  I made the liner, and I knew what I wanted the outer mitt to look like, but I didn't know how to execute it.  I consulted Miriam, who wrote the pattern and brought the idea to fruition.  All this happened -- from my original idea, to the writing and publishing of the pattern, and me finishing my mittens -- in only a few weeks' time.  MimBrilliant!

I can't stop gushing over these mittens.  If you are looking for a wonderful holiday gift item to knit, may I suggest these are it?! They are elegant and yet a little bit funky and playful, practical, fun to knit and fun to wear.  Dave Daniels said they are like Mary-Janes for the hands.  I think he's right! 

They are sure to be a hit with your gift recipients. (Don't worry -- the button does not need to be done and undone every time you put on or take off the mittens.  It is there to help the outer mitt stay on and give it some stability and style, but it is not tight -- the entire two-piece unit slips on and off the hand after the first time you put them on.)  One thing I have also noticed:  The silk in the Manos silk blend gives the mittens more "grab" than an all-wool mitten does.  You know, one reason I don't wear my handknit mittens as much as my purchased leather ones is because woolen mittens can't grab onto door handles or, more importantly, the steering wheel of my car.  These silky mittens have more grab.  I think they're a hit.

I will admit I had a few "gulp" moments in the pattern:  There is a provisional cast-on for the outer mitts, which I had to be reminded how to do (funnily enough, that was the very thing that originally brought me to blogs all those years ago -- and the rest, as they say, is history) and -- gasp -- there is GRAFTING of the bottom of the keyhole opening.  It's a bit fiddly, but it's only three stitches, and it turned out to be easy and good once I pulled up my trusty old Kitchener stitch (also known as grafting) video on the web.  The first grafting I did as a new knitter was the Rogue hood.  Talk about jumping into the deep end. That probably scarred me for life on grafting. And then I had a little trouble with the i-cord bind-off.  My favorite practical resource manual, Nancie Wiseman's Book of Finishing Techniques helped me to remember how to do that.

And I love these mittens.  Did I mention?

Accessorized to the Hilt

Thank you again, Mim!  And thank you also to Jill of Kaleidoscope Yarns.  I originally went into the shop to buy another favorite yarn, Lamb's Pride, but Jill guided me to the Manos silk blend. I wouldn't have even know about that yarn were it not for that encounter. I'm so very happy to have made its acquaintance, and it is absolutely perfect for these mittens.

-------------------------------------------

Specs

Pattern:  Dimorphous Mittens, by Miriam Felton

Yarns:  1 skein Trekking XXL (color 110), 1 skein Manos Silk Blend (color 3055)

Needles:  US 3 for inner mittens, US 5 for outer mittens

--------------------------------------------

What's come over me?  All this knitting, and I even Ravelry-documented here.

298. It's Not Only About the Pee. Ka Ka Asserts Its Right To Be Heard

This blog is now deteriorating into potty humor. I know.   

First, before it completely devolves into that, let me announce that last night's winners of the Red Scarf Fund drive are:  1. Lynn W. and 2. Amanda T.  I've emailed the winners.  CONGRATULATIONS!

------------------

I (sort of) apologize for what you are about to read, but this story is just too rich not to use in the blog.  It's mostly for my ever-growing steno and chemist readership (go figure), but you might enjoy this crap too. Coz, you know, you always get the straight poop around here.

Ba-dum-DUM.

Sadly, those puns were intentional.  I could not help myself. (sorry again)

So here's the story:

My steno software has a nifty feature that, if turned on, will scan along as I write and notice particularly long steno outlines or groups of words that are used repeatedly.  It then suggests easy and fast brief forms to be used for that job to presumably make things easier.  As with all things artificially intelligent, it makes some real bloopers from time to time. Then again, so do I, which I suppose could be used to argue that my intelligence is indeed artificial.  I won't argue with that.

This feature is really best used in the deposition setting where no one is reading along in real time except me, and I've not wanted to clutter the screen too much for my CART consumers, but I've recently introduced it to my two most savvy students and asked them if they found it distracting, and if not, would they mind if I used it.  It can make my job so much easier if things are going at a pace where I can actually look at the suggestions and incorporate them into my writing.  Neither one of them minds, so I've been using it to my great relief for the past couple of weeks or so. 

So the other night, (the same day I wrote about the pee, as it turns out) we get to organic chemistry class.  In the first few minutes, the prof said "carbon-carbon double bonds" more than twice (that's when the brief form suggestions kick in), and the software said, "HEY, LOOK!  I have an IDEA":

You chemistry professors and students out there, I defy you to ever again think about carbon-carbon double bonds without thinking "ka-ka." 

297. Red Scarf Deadline Extended; More Chances For Prizes Tonight

ALERT:  The deadline for scarf submissions to the Orphan Foundation has been extended to December 15, 2008. 

---------------------------------------

Here's my friend Lynn Davis of the OFA, surrounded by red scarves and wearing the scarf I sent.

How cute is that? 

-----------------------------------

The number of scarves received is short of goal, and with the end of the month right around the corner -- though often the bulk of the scarves is mailed in the last days around the deadline -- the OFA is extending the deadline in order to get as many scarves as it needs.  If you've been on the fence about this project, now is the time to pick up your needles and dance! Remember:  Unisex colors and designs, soft-against-the-neck yarns. They don't have to be red.  I've started one in black, because I happened to have some Encore Chunky in black, and black is always stylin' for anyone of either sex to wear. 

On the 15th of October, the OFA had their autumn care packaging event.  Our own Doris K. of the comments went over and helped out.  She wrote me later that she had a wonderful fun time.  It sure does look like you're having fun, Doris:

She delivered the two scarves she made.  Awesome!

Yesterday I got an email from Lynn telling me the OFA blog has been updated with news about the care packaging event, and with excerpts of thank you notes from students.  Ready to grin?  Got a tissue?  Go get one -- you'll need it. 

“I was having a rough day yesterday and when I got home, I saw my care package.  When I opened it and saw all of the useful things, I started crying!!  There was so much stuff that I will use.  I think I cried because a lot of the basic tools that were in the package were not always in my home growing up.” - Jade, Idaho

 

“I’m just telling you that I received your gifts and I really appreciated it and wanted to thank you guys so much.  I know that there are wonderful people out there who care for us and I’m giving you guys recognition since you gave me recognition.  Thanks again!” – Richard, New York

 

“I just received my care package and I can’t explain or describe how blessed I am.  Tears of joy are overwhelming me. I am smiling, it’s just I am so blessed...  Thank you so much for everything you do, I loved it!” – Bethany, Ohio

 

“I wanted to Thank You for all that you have done to help me with my school and the care package.   These are hard times for me and I feel that I have guardian angels looking out for me.  I couldn't be anymore grateful for your support and will always remember this. So again THANKS SO MUCH.” – LeAnna, Missouri

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DRAWING NEWS!!

In great news, the donations to the Red Scarf Fund for the month of October have far exceeded what have been reported to Paula and me.  I've had reports of nearly $3,000 for the purpose of being entered in our drawing of prizes, but the actual amount is $7,000+.  Several people have quietly donated generous amounts without asking to be entered in the drawing for prizes. That is where it's at, baby!

Several donors have just been extraordinary.  One donor, T., has been donating and donating and donating.  Finally she said, "It's a thing.  I've decided that every time I spend that much at Starbucks, I'll donate the same amount."  Well, keep on getting caffeinated, T.  We love it!  :D

Way to go, everyone.  Thank you, thank you, thank you -- from all of us!

Paula and I are so happy we're going to give out a couple of gifties at 10 p.m. Eastern time tonight (October 24).  Get your needles out and your donations in, and email us at redscarffund@gmail.com for your chances to win!

Heads up about the prizes!  Read on! 

1. Didn't get any STR at Rhinebeck? It doesn't matter, because we have 2 skeins for one lucky winner! Socks That Rock, medium weight - Pink Granite (380yds) and Socks That Rock, light weight - Flower Power (360yds).

2. "The prize I would most want for myself," says Paula, and I agree: Shear Spirit  +  a 350 yard skein of 13 Mile Lamb & Wool ranch's 100% organic wool in sportweight - indigo

We have 82 donors.  Can we make it 100, ya think?

296. Bubbles in My Pee, Tweedle-Dee, Tweedle-Dee

When bubbles settle on the surface of the urine, they indicate disease of the kidneys, and that the complaint will be protracted. ~
Hippocrates, 400 B.C.E.*

------------------------------
Pointing to the PowerPoint on which the above-referenced Hippocrates quote is posted (and I paraphrase):

"What he said." ~ a Fletcher Allen nephrologist

------------------------------

To pee is to do – Socrates.**
To do is to pee – Jean-Paul Sartre.**
Do pee do pee do – Frank Sinatra.**

---------------------------------------------------



I suffer a horrible malady. 

It is the horriblest malady of all.

It is called Medstudentosis.

(It's all Ally's fault.)

I have a good immune system, though.

I've been strong, holding up extremely well against this disease. 

No, pardon me -- not disease.  S-Y-N-D-R-O-M-E.

(I have been paying attention somewhat.)

(Just enough to be a danger to myself.)

The orthopedists didn't get to me.

Nor the rheumatologists.

The pulmonologists, meh.

The cardiologists, pshaw.

Not them, either.


It was the nephrologists that finally brought me to my knees.

Obsessively checking my pee.

Bubbles!  Froth! 

Yes, they're there in the bowl.

Aren't they?

They are.

No. 
Yes. 
Maybe?

Surely it means I'm gonna die.

From my pee.

I'm not afraid to die. 

But I just can't stop thinking about the bubbly pee.

Proteinuria.  Gonna die.

Worse than dying:  Gonna get sick and THEN die.

Dialysis, then DIE.

From the pee.

I couldn't stand it any more.

I went to my doctor.

I said, "I got bubbles in my PEE!"

She goes, "?????"

(This is a direct quote.)

Let me pee in a cup!  I'll show you.  The bubbles!

I did.

Pee in a cup.

(You'll have to imagine the details.)

The cup was bubble-free. 

I shook it. 

I'm not proud.

I put it inside the little pee-cup door.

I went back to the exam room. 

The doctor came to see me. 

She said, "Uhmmm....."

(This is a direct quote.)

She set up a psych consult.

So my very clean, protein-free, nitrite-free, blood-cell-free, everything-else-free pee is going into group thera-pee. 

Soon.
---------------------------------------------------

It always comes back to the pee.  ~ Claudia

---------------------------------------------------

* This quote is for real
** I might have taken slight liberties with these

295. New York Soap and Jam Festival

I do tend to march to the beat of my own drummer from time to time, but you would be forgiven for thinking I'm a bit "off" based on my purchases at the New York Sheep & Wool Festival.

Soap:

Scrumptious soap and a soap dish from Got Soap. Go here for YOUR free bar of soap! (just mention my blog at checkout)

And jam:

The jam came from My Father's Kitchen. They had such interesting varieties I couldn't pass them up.  Blueberry Sambucca, Scotch Marmalade (not Scotch as in "from Scotland," or "in the Scottish way," but Scotch likker), Apricot Comfort, Pinot Noir.  Etcetera. I stopped myself at four jars. 

And then there was a very special homemade Fig-Ginger jam from Anj that was left at the Spirit Trail booth for me, because we never were able to catch up with each other.  I'm enjoying it on an English muffin with a nice mug of coffee as we speak. 

DeLISHous, Anj!  This jam is not just any jam; it is a celebratory jam.  I was not able to make it to the wedding, but I'm toasting you now, Anj and Sue. Congratulations and thank you!   

Ruby also brought Sandy and I jars of Apple-Crab Jelly. (I usually see it called Crabapple Jelly, but I think there was a joke in there somewhere that went over my head. Or maybe in Hardwick the apples have crabs, or they say it backwards in Hardwick. Not gonna go there. No crabs were harmed in the making of the jam -- at least I don't think so.) So I guess it's the year of the jam.  Or the crab.  Either of which suit me just fine. 

------

Oh HAI!  There was also a little bit of yarn purchased.  At a yarn festival; imagine that! Not a lot, but what I did get is special.

Lyra, from The Spirit Trail, 50% Alpaca / 30% Merino / 20% Silk, in an Eggplanty colorway that is not haggy at all. I bought one skein, together with Jennifer's cowl pattern. 

and Fox Sox (tm) from Foxfire Fiber & Designs, in the colors Sumac and Acorn.  That skein of sumac was the only one there, and I picked it up, put it back down, picked it up, put it back down.  I simply could not walk away from it.  It is a gorgeous color, and there was only one there.  Not sure what I'm going to do with it, but I'll think of something.  Maybe just use it as a table decoration.