190. You Don't Like Greens????? *gasp*

All right, I've heard from several of you that you try (or not), and you'd sort of like to eat them, but you just don't really like greens. I understand that. Sort of. I feel it is a travesty, but I do understand it. Well, OK, I don't really understand it, but I'm trying to be nice here.   

Someone once asked the question of me, "Do you eat dandelions because you truly like them, or because they are good for you?"  The answer is because they are good for me, though over time I have learned to like them and even wish for them ("crave" even) from time to time. Abigail does, too, 'coz I raised her right. And greens are so very, very, very, very, very, very imperatively good for you, in my humble opinion, they really should be a large part of your diet.

It is my duty, therefore, to help you. 

Part of it may be that you've just never had them prepared well or satisfactorily camouflaged, as the case may be.

Here are some tips and tricks to make them go down maybe a little more easily:

1.  Don't overcook them.  Overcooking is the most serious offense against greens. I love to braise just about any green like so:

Put a small bit of olive oil AND a small pat of butter in a large chef's pan (looks sort of like a wok) or large stockpot....the olive oil and butter combo is just so much more than the sum of its parts.  Heat it up, and add a small bit of chopped garlic, and maybe some sliced onions.  Then add your greens, which have been coarsely chopped.  Heat and stir just 'til they are "wilted" and dark green and delicious.  You can add a splosh of balsamic vinegar or lemon juice if you like, and sprinkle with salt and pepper.  If you don't love this, you need your head examined.  Oops.  I was trying not to be judgmental and bossy.  OK. NEXT!

2.  Back to the lemon juice/vinegar thing:  These cut bitterness. Try them on your greens with a little salt and pepper.  My uncle used to sprinkle bitter greens with vinegar and a teeny bit of sugar. Try it! (A sweet-sour vinaigrette or salad dressing would be great, too. Hot bacon dressing, YUM! I was going to say hot bacon dressing is better than sex, but then I feared that y'all would start getting weird ideas about me and my relationship with sex, so I hereby retract that statement.)  But the Vosges Mo's Bacon Bar, well, that is better than sex -- I don't care what anybody says, and I am not backing down on that one. 

But we were supposed to be talking about greens. 

3.  Try to eat your greens with one of the following to help mask their flavor until you learn to love (or at least tolerate) their flavor all on their own:  mashed potatoes, toast, bread, rice, eggs, cheese, tomato-based sauces, gravy, sour cream, cream, butter.  If you love macaroni and cheese, that is an excellent place to camouflage your greens.  Cripes, use ketchup if you have to. And if you have to justify the use of a little bit of butter or olive oil on your greens, remember that beta carotene and other fat-soluble vitamins require some fat in order to be properly utilized by the body.

4.  Try this:  Toast a slice of really great bread that you love.  Add some pizza sauce, then your greens, and a sprinkling of cheese.  Melt the cheese under a broiler or in a toaster oven. Chow down! 

5.  Eat your greens with some sort of smoked meat or sausage.

6.  Put them in an omelet or quiche.  Eggs and cheese have a symbiotic relationship to greens, or at least I think so.

The next thing you know, you'll be out there in the yard digging up your dandelions and your radishes and eating the greens, like some crazy nut we all know. Oh, and...

7.  No whining.

And to show you I practice what I preach, though I have no need to camouflage my greens because I love them just the way they are, last night our dinner was this:  A big bowl of braised Swiss chard smothered in a marinara sauce from a local restaurant that's just started selling their lovely sauce in jars, into which some Aidells chicken/sun-dried tomato sausages had been cut.  No pasta needed.  It.was.FABULOUS, if I do say so.

Hey Look!  Harvest Photo of the Day Quart-size plastic freezer bags are not just for the TSA.  They can also be used to freeze vegetables.  Who knew?  Imagine!  After yesterday's rant I picked, shucked, blanched and froze a whole quart of peas. I'd be the laughing stock of my forebears, but at least it's something.  I'm thinking these will be served on Thanksgiving, and they'll taste damn good.  

Comments

[Kristen]

Your labelling cracks me up!

I confess there are greens that I don't like: iceberg lettuce and its ilk. I rarely order a salad when I go out to eat because I simply detest iceberg. It's useless. I'd much rather be munching on a hearty green!

[cari]

People who don't like greens? That's just weird.

Looks like you shamed your pea plants into a bit more production.

[Carol]

It's true! I used to hate hate hate greens growing up. Mom made us eat them. Now I'm eating my kale raw in salad.

[Manise]

I love my greens!

[margene]

I also chop them up very fine and put them in soup. I don't understand people who don't like greens either!

[Carole]

I love greens just the way you described. And the Mo's Bacon Bar, well, that's just an amazing thing.

[Melissa]

I found a recipe the other day for greens with toasted breadcrumbs. I used Kale and good god, it was SO good!

[Kay]

I don't understand people who don't like greens, especially greens with vinegar, but I do very much understand people who don't like cooking them. In my opinion that is why people don't eat them more often. Lazy! Also store-bought greens can look so....impossible to eat. So tough and nasty and recently in the dust.

Do you have an opinion on that amino sauce stuff? I sampled some on greens at Whole Foods and embarrassed myself by how many samples I ate and so I bought a bottle and now I haven't used it because it seems kind of weird to be using something called "amino" to cook with. It has a kind of smoky flavor that is so delicious it can't be that good for you.

I cannot for the life of me understand why you didn't EAT the peas. But you owe me no explanations, Ma'am.

xox Kay

[Jenn C.]

Yay for more peas!

I've found that using actual bacon fat for the fat in braising greens makes them super delicious - less healthy than olive oil, but it's still not *that* much worse for you.

I wasn't ever much of a greens person until we started doing our CSA, but now I've come to love them so much.

[(formerly) no-blog-rachel]

I love greens. Can I come over for dinner, please? :)

[elizabeth a airhart]

mix greens with eggs
and make a lovely puffy oven omlet

[jodi]

You forgot my favourite presentation for greens: rice or couscous or another grain, seasoned subtly (a little black pepper, or lemon juice) or not at all; greens lightly braised as you described (with vinegar or soy sauce) on top of that; tofu, marinated in whatever, baked or fried, on top of the whole thing. Mmm.

[Jill]

Weird. My brother and I were just having a conversation about preparing kale last night. He said that he grates nutmeg onto his because that's the way Rachel Ray said her grandpa always prepared them. I haven't tried it yet, but I will the next time I'm preparing greens.

[Sheepish Annie]

I try. I really, really do. My mother still considers it a personal failure on her part that I don't eat my greens. It's not that I don't like them. It's just that I don't entirely trust them. I should try harder. I am in my forties and it just looks silly when I refuse to eat my vegetables at this stage of the game...

[Cara]

Sigh. It's not easy being green.

[Cheryl S.]

Just last night a woman I was talking to mentioned remembering how for years she used to sit under a tree and shuck a big pot of peas while watching the kids play. Then it would be the green beans. I had to tell her about your blog post. I like greens in moderation, and really only the milder ones. It's hard for me to eat a big serving of them, but it's mostly the texture - not the taste.

[Julie]

Love my greens, although I hate peas, lima beans and mushrooms. My zucchini plant has 2 teeny tiny buds on it. My tomato plants are gigantic, and the only tomato produced was crushed in the windstorm last week when my willow had branches broken off. I'm about ready to throw in the towel here.

[jessica~]

Mmmmmmmmmm... greens.... there are so many different greens there is no way someone can't like ALL of them. I love them all: bitter, mellow...raw, cooked. Yum!!

[claudia]

I can sort of make hubster eat some greens. Sometimes. Garlic and onion, butter and oil, help alot.

[Cathy-Cate]

I like your pea label.

The swiss chard dish sounds amazing.

My children are deeply and utterly suspicious of greens; I like wilted spinach salad, so I should like other greens, eh?

[Imbrium]

No disguises needed for my greens. Mustard greens are my favorites, but I'll eat any and all of them. Yummy.

My husband, on the other hand, will only eat spinach, and only if it is drowning in lemon juice. Eh...at least he eats it.

[Cece]

I just joined our local CSA this season, and am getting a HUGE amount of greens. And I've never cooked them before. On a somewhat related note, I'm pregnant. I've been craving all things cheese, and yesterday decided to saute up my kohlrabi and turnips in olive oil and balsamic vinigar and then threw in kale at the end (just until it wilted, chopped up rather fine). I then stirred it into rice and added feta cheese - AWESOME. Freaking awesome. That's all I've eaten for the last 24 hours.

Now - I'm not sure if it's really that tasty, or it's a pregnancy craving - but thought I would share. Behold the power of cheese! (I watch too much TV!!!)

[Lucia]

*sigh* I love bitter greens, and am not allowed to eat them. But I can eat green peas and beans, and it occurs to me that the latter at least are really easy to grow and don't take very long.

[Leslie]

I love them in soup with spicey sausage; not good for summer green busting, but tastey.

Beet greens in borscht.
Collards with ham, OMG.

Mitch, of course, runs when he sees chard in the fridge.

[lyssa]

I cooked up some swiss chard last night with olive oil and garlic, and I loved it. The husband did look at me like I was trying to kill him, though. Next time I'll add some vinegar to cut the bitterness a bit.

[Patti]

We put them in lots of stuff - chard goes in soup, kale goes in soup, spinach goes in pasta sauce. I have a turkey meatball soup that I fill with kale. Yum!

[Tonia]

Great ideas, thank you! I became a big fan of swiss chard and other greens once I learned that it was possible to prepare them in a way other than my grandmother's standard "boil them till they're useless" method. Two of my favorite variations on #1 from this post are:

- For rainbow chard, add some chopped dates or other sweet dried fruit in with the garlic, and finish with meyer lemon juice *and* zest after the greens are wilted.

- For broccoli di rabe, or whatever it's called in English, saute some crumbled Italian pork sausage meat--make sure you get the sweet kind with fennel seeds in--and once it's brown, drain the fat from the pan and remove the sausage to a bowl (lined with paper towel if you want to get rid of more of the fat). Go about your business with the olive oil / butter, garlic and greens in the same pan you just used, then mix the meat back in to warm it through, and finish with some red pepper flakes. Toss in some toasted pine nuts, too, if you're feeling schmancy. If you don't like your broccoli di rabe as bitter as I do, you can blanch it for 60 - 90 seconds, then shock it in ice water, before adding it to the pan.

[Laura]

This was really helpful. I've got kale and swiss chard in my fridge from a CSA and was wondering what to do with them. Thanks!

[Cookie]

Better than sex?

Really?

Hmmmmm...

[Julie]

When we started a CSA several years ago I told my husband I was only willing to do it if he was willing to eat whatever came home. Two of the best recipes we got from the farm newsletter are for greens. One is for a kale and peanut soup/stew. I make it all the time, even in summer if it is even remotely cool enough to want to. If it is too hot I sometimes blanch and freeze the kale for a later date. The other is a swiss chard and pasta dish with blue cheese. In winter I've had my husband call from the grocery store to tell me they have good looking kale or chard and ask if we need any of the other ingredients to make one of these dishes. This from a man who ate virtually no vegetables when I met him 25 years ago.

[Erika]

Bookmarked!

[Dani in NC]

I like my collard and mustard greens with chow-chow on them. You have to have a connection to get good chow-chow, though, because you can't just pick it up at the supermarket.

My favorite thing to do with spinach right now is to mix it into my scrambled egg, along with cheese, chives, and a bit of ham.

[Susan]

Those peas would have never even made it to the bag... I would have been greedly eating handfuls of them raw. Here's the best part!! The dog likes the pods... No waste, right?

[sandy]

DUH, Peas! You crack me up!!!!
Seeing those peas in a bag waiting Thanksgiving dinner makes me incredibly happy. It's almost like I was invited. Which I was not.
I don't have to tell you how much I love my greens. Do I?
xo

[Jena (the yarn harpy)]

Came across this Anne Taintor piece ("Taintorette", as she calls them) that I thought was just perfect for the Garden Along - "my garden kicks ass" (http://www.annetaintor.com/favorite.html).

I was thinking of ordering it as a button, but they only come in a pack of 12. If I can get 11 other takers, though...

[Anne]

I love my greens with a splash of balsamic vinegar and kalamata olives. yummy!

[cr]

A recipe for greens from the Sundays at Moosewood cookbook (with liberties taken with the quantities) goes something like this:

saute a large bunch of fresh greens (any type) in olive oil,
pour in 1 tsp. cider vinegar when they start to wilt,
followed by a dash of hot pepper sauce.
Remove from heat and serve immediately. Yum!

(I've used variations of this recipe w/ salt, pepper, and garlic to taste. My 3 kids have been eating it for years on all sorts of greens, though spinach is the favorite.)

[Ellen]

Greens are also good with tomato sauce and Indian spices of your choice: curry, garam masala, or just plain old cumin and coriander. Serve with potatoes. yum.

[Pamela]

Collard greens: olive oil, a generous amount of garlic, a splash of wine (either color as long as it isn't sweet), and some form of tomato - an actual chopped tomato, leftover spaghetti sauce, some canned tomato something, some salsa. Add your chopped greens and cook, stirring regularly. Aim for enough juicy goodness to sop up with crusty bread. Just before serving, stir in crumbled feta cheese. Yum.

[Kate/Massachusetts]

My Mom always made spinach by braising it and then adding butter, apple cider vinegar and salt/pepper. Loved it...nectar of the gods. Alas, I now have to be very careful about eating greens, particularly in the raw state. I have thyroid disease and certain greens interfer with thyroid hormone.

[Knitnana]

I don't believe there's a green I dislike - except for iceberg lettuce. What IS the point? Vitually no food value and mostly water. I'll drink my water on ice thank you.
Dandelion? Dande-Leon? LOVE them. Mom taught me.
(she was a Vermonter, too)
lolol
Duh! No joke those are peas!
(((hugs)))

[LaurieM]

This will make your day: because of what I read here, we had greens yesterday, cooked according to your never fail receipe. It didnt' fail. The whole family enjoyed them. My goal is to try a new green every week with this technique so we can tast the difference each one has to offer.

Thanks Norma!