All About Skin And Heat and Sweat and Scantily Clad Bodies (See? I told you!)

No knitting here again today.  If there is anyone who really comes here for the knitting, I suppose I should let you know that right off the bat, in case the title did not already tip you off. 

I've mentioned this before, but one of the best things about the change in my job duties is that I have a schedule.  (This week "the schedule" has been blown out of the water a little bit, but I'm going to pretend that didn't happen. Is that rather Pollyannaish of me?)   

Anyway, the new schedule is allowing me time to exercise more often, which is very welcome.  I have been logging hiking miles in Run-A-Go-Go, though fewer than I would like.  The bitter cold and heavy snow and ice, along with a rabies incident on the hill (!), has made it impossible to trek my usual hiking hill, but that's okay.  Walking into a 105-degree (or the other night it was 112.9*) Bikram studio is one of the most pleasant things I can think of doing at the end of the day in this weather.  *That is really at the upper limits of my tolerance, it affected my performance, and I didn't like it so much.

 

One of the most fun reasons for me to go to Bikram classes (besides the obvious first 20) is to observe new students -- for the sociological study, not to be critical of them.

Most people in general are self-conscious about their bodies and about their possible lack of athletic prowess.  So if they've been convinced by someone, or have decided on their own, to take up Bikram yoga, it is quite comical to watch them arrive the first time.

Understandably, people don't know what to expect when they first come.  I didn't, either, and really there is no way to prepare someone for the experience with simple words.  No matter how much you try to convey what it's like, people don't seem to understand you or believe you.  The pictures on the literature look so serene and cool and dry. Also, I think when one calls for information, one is told to "wear something you can move in easily" and in which "you are comfortable."  I think they simply say this because they don't want to scare people off, but I feel it is tantamount to misinformation, honestly. 

About the Women:

They come in fully clothed.  This pains me, because, you see:  Been there, done that.  A couple weeks ago, my friend Michelle and I were sitting outside the studio chatting, and in walks a woman in sweatpants and a t-shirt, carrying a whole bunch of other gear and a little bottle of water.  She came, peeking tentatively around the corner.  I said to her, "First time here?"  (duh)

"Yes.  Where do you go?" 

I told her, "Go right through that door," and she headed toward it.  Michelle and I both at the same time said to her, "And take off some of those clothes!"  but she ignored us, and walked into the Fiery Cave of Purgatory fully dressed. 

We didn't hang around to learn whether an ambulance was later called.

When a woman first enters that room and looks around at the scantily clad other women -- some young and shapely, and some, well, less so -- the woman thinks, "Hussies.  Who do these people think they are?! You'll never catch me dressing like that!  Harumph."

I know this, because this is exactly what I thought that first time.  Then I immediately got over myself and went home and bought new yoga wear.   

Sorry to disappoint Cookie, but I am not going to mention the lady who showed up one night wearing floral granny panties.  Oh, wait, did I just?  I must admit, though, that was a better choice than the full-on sweatpants.

About the Men:

So, ladies, if you're worried your gaydar is rusty, go to a Bikram class.  Straight men new to class will be the ones wearing oversized cotton t-shirts or "muscle shirts" and basketball shorts, with their tongues hanging out and eyes bulging like so many comic strip characters, giggling and grunting nervously, and awkwardly pretending to stretch their quads.  They think they have just landed in Heaven, they're wondering how can it be this easy to just walk in on this, and they always stand in the back row, so they can watch the eye candy in the front row.  This turns out to be a huge strategic error, since the heaters in our studio are situated in ... you guessed it... the back row, pouring out heat at about 1,000 degrees F, melting the hair off the tops of their heads. 

Gay guys (which in my town are mostly in the closet) will be the ones checking out their own derrieres and biceps in the floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall mirrors, while surreptitiously scanning the room to see if there are any other muscular, waxed torsos (the kind without bikini tops) to be ogled. 

Five minutes into the class, it's unanimous -- male, female, young, old, gay, straight:

"Oh."

Comments

[Kristen]

The only time you'll get me to go anywhere near 112 degree heat is in Russia. When it is -30F. And all that is expected of you is to get naked, sit still and sweat until you can't stand it any longer.

[Cookie]

Yes, I guess you did edit that bit in, after all. *L*

I would love to try that one day. Part of me thinks I should wait till summer when it's that hot or hotter in the garage. /runs

[Mel]

As much as I find Bikram's ego off-putting, I may have to try out a class. I so badly miss my Ashtanga classes, but I just can't do the suryanamaskaram anymore because of my wrists. And given this latest cold snap, standing in a 105F room is sounding mighty appealing.

[sandy]

I tip my hat to anyone who reads this description and can't wait to get there. I guess it's the heat that puts me off. You know. It just seems like a hot flash breeding ground.
Good for you for going back. It's hard to get in the habit again!
xo

[Carole]

Aside from the fact that I'm way too out of shape for something like that, I think I wouldn't like the heat part. But I know you love it and I'm glad you've found something you enjoy so much.
I couldn't agree more about people watching in these settings!

[AmyP]

I have difficult raising my arm to drink an iced coffee in that sort of temperature. And you have to excersise in it?! Not that I can actually excersise anyway, but you know, principle of the thing and all that.

[margene]

I agree with Sandy. I would be the one you'd call the amublance for even if nakid...a hot flash during a session would surly kill me. They should put a warning on the door not to ware too many clothes.

[Lisa In Oregon]

I sweat buckets in 70 degree weather. 80 is too damn hot for me....

105 degrees? 112 degrees? Uh, there's a name for that Norma...

Hell.

Now every time you mention yoga...I'll be thinking, "Oh, Norma's gone to Hell again..." ;-P

[Sara]

I'd thought about checking to see if there is a Bikram class in the area, but considering how out of shape I am, I'm afraid that the heat would make my head explode!

Now if I only had the ambition to get back into Pilates...

[Judy]

Waaaaaaay to hot for me. waaaay to HOT!

[marianne]

Oklahoma summer heat by choice? Do you then run outside and plunge yourself into a snowbank? (leaving a 'Normal' imprint?)

[Sarahfish]

I have only been to one Bikram class, and it was... interesting. I had never really done Yoga before (maybe once or twice? Once?) but at the time I was a Pilates instructor, and I'm a synchro swimmer. So, bendy. The guy noticed my little first-timer form in front of my mat, nodded, and moved on. I guess when he saw me doing my thing he thought I was just new to his studio, not to Yoga in general... he explained nothing! It was so funny, cause I was trying to secretly look around for an indication of what it was I was supposed to be doing, and the instructor would catch me, and include in his chanting style instruction comments about how it's not a competition, look inward for improvement, etc etc. My friend and I were chuckling away. And I was walking like Frankenstein for about 3 days afterward! Too funny. But strangely, I am thinking of trying again... :)

[Laura]

I've been fascinated by Bikram ever since it was your "B" entry last year. I'm sure they don't offer it at our Y which is okay because with the sufficient warning you have provided, I'm certain that I would not posess the required degree of self confidence (much less athletic prowess) to wear the required "not much" to the classes. I'd be the one in flowered granny underwear. heh

[Jenn C.]

One hundred and twelve degrees? Good lord, that's insane.

I've always been scared off by Bikram yoga, although I loved the plain boring yoga classes I took back when I had time.

[Roxie]

Mmmmmm - the heat sounds heavenly! And yoga doesn't so much involve jumping around as stretching and breathing, right? I can stretch and I have a lot of experience at breathing. Maybe I could do that.

[Melanie]

Sounds enjoyable but since I get exercise-induced asthma if it's too hot and humid I'm not sure I'd survive the experience. Given the choice between being able to breathe and getting strong and bendy, I choose breathing. Yeah, I know, I'm a wuss. I liked hatha yoga when I did it, but I wish I could find an ashtanga class nearby.

[Rachel H]

I tried that once, 30 or so pounds ago and loved it. Must find a new place to do it again.

[regina]

Bikram was too much for me. I tried, and I just coudn't take it.

[Lucia]

I have a confession to make, and I hope you won't think (too much) less of me: I have now watched four episodes of "Gay, Straight, or Taken?" -- and only once did I get the gay one right. The opportunity to sharpen up the gaydar is, however, the *only* reason I can see to take a Bikram class.

[rachel]

Thanks for the tip about Shakti yoga clothes. They don't have retail in Chicago, but I'm going to give the mail order a try.

Re guys doing Bikram -- they are a minority at my venue, but they tend to be a little stinky, so I try to steer clear of 'em when setting up my mat.

[Elizabeth]

The first thought when trying Bikram for the first time was that if it was going to be that hot, shouldn't I at least be getting a tan?
(Rachel's right, stay clear of the men in class.)

[Andrea]

Is it a dry heat or a humid one?

[minnie]

there's a place just up the street from me offering yoga classes. i might just investigate. the biggest barrier to exercise of that type? my hair. yeah, i said my hair. it's long enough to sit on, and won't stay in a braid for more than 20 minutes, and i haven't mastered buns. i usually wear it in clips, but you can't wear those if you have to be on the floor any length of time (ask me how i know, lol). i may wander up there and check it out, though (they also offer tai chi. that might be easier on the hair (or not!))

[Carol]

Just what I'd need, a hot flash excellerant;) I honestly didn't know there was more than one kind of Yoga. (duh)

[Lee Ann]

Minnie, you're not the only one to be unable to master your buns.

*cough*

Around here, they call it "hot yoga," and I have never been sure if this was because it was next to the Cinema L'Amour or not so I haven't gone in yet.

[Cookie]

I am attending my first yoga class tonight, but it is Kundalini. I wonder if it will be hot? I kind of hope so.

[Sue]

Being a non-yoga person, I too wasn't aware that there was more than one type. Maybe when I was younger, fitter and more stretchy, yoga would have been for me, but I didn't feel I needed it then. Now I'm stiff with some joints quickly wearing out, I don't think I would be able to get down onto the mat let alone into any of the yoga positions, heat or no heat.

[Anne]

I haven't done yoga, but I did experience the sauna in Germany, which was a hoot. I've never seen so many people gasping for air. My roommate kept asking if it was hot enough for me, and if I was okay. I looked at him and laughed and said, are you joking? It's like being at home!

He obviously had no idea what Texas is like in the summer. Hehehe.

[Kathleen]

it's all in how you say it, Nooooooow, Norma knits toooooo! I personally love the good fart stories. ;)

[kmkat]

I can endure -29° F. better than 112°. So no thanks. But I'll admire you forever.

[Sil]

I've got some lovely seeds and it's going to be 80 degrees here this week...that's outdoor temp, not Bikram temp. Me likey California.

[KnittyOtter]

floral granny panties?!?! *L*

I'm not sure how I'd react in that kind of heat. Faint I guess. :P

[Isela]

I know I couldn't do that class...you go for it and we cheer you on :)

[Loretta]

Congratulations on year #3! I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy readng your blog. Cheers!

[somebunnyslove]

I remember when I was taking Bikram yoga because my friend was an instructor. The heat was unbearable at first, but we always felt better after the session was over as if we were cleansed and purified. Thanks for the funny memories!
=:8

[Chrissy]

I just took my first hot yoga class yesterday, and it was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. I'm awefully sore today, but I'm going to go back for another class this afternoon! It may be hot, but it's heaven! I actually feel like I can breathe better.

[maryse]

i started to sweat just reading.