Crack Your Bones, or I Love Chiropractors and Eddie Izzard Too

So I had to go see a chiropractor in New York, and they're different to osteopaths, chiropractors, because of the spelling. And they crack your bones, that's what they do, they crack your bones! And they take X-rays, but it's pointless, because whatever is wrong with you - "You've got a bad back, I'm gonna crack your bones." "You've got diphtheria, I'm gonna crack your bones." "Your head's come off! I'm gonna crack your bones." "It looks like your mother! I'm going to crack your bones." ~Eddie Izzard, Dress to Kill

 

I know I keep going on about my new job, but you know, that's what's interesting to me right now.  So the thing is, I love most everything about it, but it seems to be doing a bit of a job on my back.  I've had to go to the chiropractor twice in a little over two weeks, when I had not been in about a year previous to that.  Now, a lot of this was just building up and building up over a long period of time, and at the end of last year I was just too damn busy to go get my bones cracked, so right now I'm paying.  Also, I do have a past pattern of needing it in January and February.  Might simply be the cold weather.

But anyway, I had a wonderful bone-cracking the night before last.  Ahhhhh, it was good.  I went to Bikram class first and got very heated up and stretched out, so the adjustment was excellent.  My back muscles are tense, spasmy, and hard when they get like this, which makes it very hard for the chiropractor to properly adjust the vertebrae, so it was good that I had that yoga prep beforehand.

So I was feeling great relief and feeling wonderful about it, and I went searching for the Eddie Izzard quote from his "crack your bones" routine, and ohmygod, I found this.  Well, I then lost about two hours reading it to David, and he'd play off it, and we were laughing and remembering -- because we know the DVD by heart, practically, so we can hear the intonation and see the facial expressions, and, well, if you've never watched this DVD, do me a personal favor -- and do a favor to yourself.  Rent Dress to Kill.  Please.  I beg you. 

Trust me.  Have I ever steered you wrong? (but you might want to send the kids to bed first -- or not -- depending on how G-rated you raise your children.  Abigail grew up on this stuff, and I think I can safely say that she turned out fine. Better than fine, even.  And besides, it's too late for you to send the DCF people in.)

Hey!  Guess what!  Sandy's not the only one with Amaryllis Cam!!!

She sent me one (an amaryllis) so I could grow one, too.  Thank you, Sandy!  I'd show you a photo, but I had a massive headache and couldn't even bear to take a picture.  It'll have to wait.  Sorry. 

I've got an Amaryllis.  I'm gonna crack your bones.

Also, no knitting was done yesterday because of the headache, so there is no cable progress shot.  The only reason this post appears at all is because it was all written B.H. -- Before Headache.  Ugh. 

 

Comments

[Kristen]

I saw Dressed to Kill. I laughed until I couldn't breathe...

I like hearing about the new job!

[Anne]

My roommate a few years ago had such a bad back that he couldn't go for more than 3 weeks or so without getting his back cracked back into shape. His posture was too rigid... he had all kinds of crazy trouble because of it.

I like hearing about school too!

[sandy]

Just don't crack the amaryllis' bones. Please. :) I can't wait to see yours bloom!
I heard cracking down here the other day, must have been you. Thought it was the frozen ocean.
:)
Hope your headache and back are better. The 2 may be related you know.
LOST.
again.
LOST.
tonight

[Carole]

I'll be looking for Dressed to Kill. I know you wouldn't steer me wrong.

[Lucia]

We'll rent Dressed to Kill and let Miss B watch it. She has a weirdo sense of humor. Gee, I wonder where she got that?

[margene]

A good bone cracking is always heavenly. Take care and feel better soon! xoxo

[Kirsten]

Love, love, love that video. At least I think it's that one. For weeks after we watched it, hubby and I would go around saying, "Alors! Ma grandmere est flambe!"

[JoVE]

I'm not surprised you need the chiropractor but I wouldn't necessarily blame the current job. You were so busy for so long there that I bet you were tense and probably not sitting right all the time and that stuff just builds up. Great that the new job gives you enough time to go do yoga and see the chiropractor and all that stuff so you can be feeling better. Because no matter how much you love the work you do, you need to do it in conditions that make you happy and healthy.

[Jeni R]

I LOVE Eddie Izzard, I had "Cake or Death" engraved on the back of my Ipod. Got the Dressed to Kill video from Amazon and watch it anytime I need a pick me up.

[Roxie]

Oh yeah. IF you've needed cracking for a while, those tense muscles have been holding a lot of toxins. I think of them as tiny crabs. The cracking breaks up their homes, and they run around like mad looking for a new place to settle. Crab feet across your brain makes for headaches. Drinking lots of water just flushes the critters away. Homeless nasty-crabs going for the loooong swim! Flush!

[Carrie]

I get weekly massages at work, so it usually keeps me loose. When I DO finally need a crack, he's been able to get more bones cracked than he used to, and I credit the massages. Ahhh, massage... is it Thursday yet?

[regina]

I go to a chiropractor who uses a technique called "Directional Non-Force Technique" that doesn't involve any cracking or forceful manipulation of the spine. It's pretty freaky, but boy does it work! I've been going to the same person for over twenty years and she's helped me with all kinds of stuff. I only go once or twice a year unless i have a specific injury, in which case i go a couple of times in a short period. In any event, I find that it works great for me and i appreciate the gentleness of the technique. It's a very interesting alternative to traditional chiropractic methods. BTW, i haven't forgotten about your BeeFense. I haven't gotten over to the health food store as their hours aren't convenient to my work schedule, but I'll definitely get over there by next week. xo

[Jenn]

"I'm covered in bees!!"

Love you, Cousin. Take care of yourself.

[Michelle]

Make the noise, I live for the noise!

Flag.

Every day should start with Eddie.

[Emily]

I like my women like I like my coffee... in a plastic cup.

It's funny, I was raised to believe that chiropracters were all quacks, and now my Mom is seeing one for her back and is raving about how good she feels.

[Carol]

I'll have to check that DVD out. I wouldn't worry about DCF, if they saw the conditions at our house-they's immediately take us away from our kids;) Hope you feel better fast!

[Cookie]

Babies on spikes.

Tastes of chicken.

♥

[kmkat]

"Look, a badger, over there!" My 17-yo son uses that to distract me all the time. Older son gave me Dressed to Kill for Christmas several years ago. I haven't watched it for a few months -- after reading your post I want to watch it RIGHT NOW!

Hmmmm, chiropractor. A good friend also swears by acupuncture. I wonder which would make my shoulder and elbow feel better?

[Miriam]

My back is always worse during cold weather because I raise my shoulders or hunch my neck down to keep my ears and neck warm in my scarf. It does all sorts of nasties to my back.

[claudia]

Think of all the things I wouldn't know anything about if it weren't for this crowd. Eddie Izzard, Amarylli....

[Celia]

Dress to Kill is now at the top of my Netflix queue. As for the tweaked back, I've been to the chiropractor for a good crackin' three times in the last ten days. I'm doing mu-huh-huh-ch better now, thanks.

[liz]

My husband gave me both Dressed to Kill and Circle a few years back. I opened them in front of my in-laws. Circle features Eddie in lingerie on the cover. My FIL picked up the DVDE and gave me this really odd look and I just smiled and said, "He's British." They are from the midwest so that explanation sufficed.

[lisa]

I also like hearing about your job. Do you ever do sports related vocabulary? We had deaf twins in tae kwon do once. Where a lot of the terminology was in korean. Mostly, though, we instructors learned "look" "you do" and "line up" in asl. But it sure would've been a better experience for them if they really understood what was going on.

[Sue]

A few weeks ago we went to the video store and rented "Little Miss Sunshine." I saw the cover and thought to myself, "hey, this looks like a good Saturday night family movie." Well, I didn't realize it was rated R. Oops. But we watched it anyway (my kids are 12 and 13) and I thought it was great. Only my oldest daughter seemed to catch the humor in the dysfunction. I'm waiting for the Department of Health and Family Services to come a knockin' ...ha! Feel better soon, Norma!

[La]

god I heart Eddie Izzard

[Debi]

Isn't Eddie starring in some new show on FX soon? I believe it's called "The Riches". I love Eddie!

[Teresa Thorne Hunter]

Thanks, I needed that! I'd never heard of him. Laughed myself silly last night/early a.m., despite all the foul language. And to think poor Lennie Bruce was arrested constantly if he said even one of those words. How times change. But he is so much like LB, it was a delight: fast, clever, amazing insight into the ridiculous ways of the world. Half of LB's material went right over the heads of a lot of his audiences; apparently that has changed, too. Must get the videos now. Only tapped into The Shoes so far. Great stuff!

For another great and clever mind, and an all-time favorite of mine, try Google-ing Cecil Adams and/or The Straight Dope, unless you already do. I just ran across him while looking at/for something else and was delighted to find him again. I have three of his books. Another brilliant mind who suffers fools, but not gladly, and doesn't mince his words, although they are rarely, if ever, like some of Eddie's. Can really learn a lot of interesting things from Cecil.

[maryse]

cake or death?

i love eddie izzard.