K is for Keyboard

Geesh. So long-awaited, and the photo is still disappointing. (sorry about the ghost-like tone of my skin) (Edited to add:  A reader, Dana, delurked long enough to send me a fixed photo, so, in her words, I look less Smurf-like.  That's much better.  Thank you, Dana! So you could see the original I had posted if you wanted to for kicks, I've left it there in a tiny thumbnail.) The jet-setting daughter came home for, I don't know, about 18 hours between flights, and I prevailed upon her to take photos of my hands at my steno keyboard. I didn't look at them until she was asleep, and of course they're all pretty crappy. But so much of my life revolves around keyboards, it just had to be my K word. 

So that is a photo of my Stenograph keyboard. I'm stroking the word "blog" there, which, on the paper tape (or the computer screen nowadays), looks like this: 

PW = B, HR = L, O, G.  All keys are stroked simultaneously, so the process is more akin to stroking chords on a piano than typing. Writing one word or syllable, or even an entire phrase, all in one stroke is obviously much faster than typing letter by letter. In the case of writing steno, it is the brain that has to work fast, even more than the fingers. That is how it is possible to report words verbatim over extended periods of time.

On the steno keyboard, there are no letters marked on the keys. As a court reporting student, you just have to memorize where they are.  It would really do you no good to have letters (or numbers -- that flat bar along the top, when stroked together with the letters under it, makes numbers) printed on the keys, since it is combinations of letters that are read together (as illustrated above) to form other letters. Again, this goes back to being able to stroke at high speeds.

That says, "Now Norma Knits." 
TPH = N, O, U for W
TPH = N, O, R, PL = M
KWR = Y, A   (the y before the a tells the computer that it should attach that a to the syllable before.  So "Norma" is written in two strokes.  Although if I were writing "Norma" often, I would probably come up with a brief form that would write it in one stroke.  I might, for example, write it NAORM.  The letters on the steno keyboard are in fixed positions, so you have to make your brain think of creative ways to get all the letters in, even though they may not be in the right order.  This configuration of keyboard, with the beginning halves of words on the left, the vowels in the center, and the ending halves on the right, is the only way anyone has invented of being able to write as fast as we can.)  It is a shorthand system based on phonetics.

TPH = N (I put the K in there, see it? to differentiate for the computer between "knits" and "nits."  That is an example of some of very tricky finger positions we use to accomplish our goal.  You can't see it, but believe me, that particular stroke requires some substantial agility of the fingers and the brain.) EU = I, T, S

I know: Weird, huh?  I write steno at 240-300 words per minute.  I know this because there is a little meter on the top of my computer screen that tells me how fast I'm going at any given time. 300 words a minute, for more than a short burst, and my brain nearly explodes. That's when I ask someone to repeat him/herself and to PLEASE SLOW DOWN.  I usually make a joke of it. Some reporters, I am told, get pretty bossy and rude.

I've passed a test at 240 with greater than 95% accuracy. I tried 270 once and failed.  The next time I tried it, I flew to Cleveland for the test and the flight was canceled. I was on standby for the next two flights.  I arrived after the test had already started -- indeed, after the entire day of seminar I'd paid for was over, as well.

The next time, I went to Boston.  No flights were involved, so I figured everything would be great.  We started the test and the power went out right in the middle.  This had never happened in the history of giving this test.  They had to consult headquarters about what to do.  They started over, as I recall....or maybe they had a second piece of dictation to give -- I can't quite remember.  I was confident I had passed, but was told that I failed.  And immediately upon returning home, my computer crashed, fully and irreparably.  Apparently the power surge had seriously harmed my data.  I decided that was enough for me.  I believe my exact words were, "Fuck this shit."  (are you surprised?)

Unless someone were willing to give me a pay raise for passing it, I wasn't willing to truck my equipment to wherever it might be that I could take the test in any given year, and risk damaging the equipment any more, etc.  It wasn't worth it.  If I worked for the federal government full time, they would compensate me at a higher rate for having passed that ultimate-level test.  But until the goose lays the golden egg and gives me one of those rare jobs locally (someone will likely have to die first, not that I'm wishing for that), I'm not bothering with any more tests, thank you very much. 

When I left high school, I was able to type on the QWERTY keyboard at 100 words a minute.  Immediately upon trying to learn the steno keyboard, it was as if I had never learned to type.  This happened to all of us.  The learning curve was steep, and we constantly confused the two keyboards for a while.  (there was historically a 95% dropout rate in our court reporting school, although my particular class had the highest-ever percentage of success.)

Then eventually the QWERTY keyboard came back to us.  Something in our brains clicked, so that when we sat down at each keyboard, our brains and fingers knew what to do at each one automatically, without thought.  Now I can't imagine not being fluent at each one and don't ever give it a second's thought.

All these years at keyboards have done weird things to my hands. Amazingly, the knitting seems to complement the keyboarding nicely. But anyone who has received a hand-written card from me will notice -- my handwriting has gone to pot.  I seem to have completely lost those muscles.  I can hardly hold a pen, it seems. I certainly can't control it very well.  And for a court reporter (at least this court reporter), there can.BE.NO.fingernails. Even a little bit of growth bugs the hell out of me and slows me down too much. So no pretty manicures.

Thankfully, there is no arthritis in my hands. That would be tragic, particularly since I am allergic to aspirin and ibuprofen. And I have had no carpal tunnel syndrome.  I did have what was originally thought to be carpal tunnel, back in the early '90s.  It really was just severe inflammation of the muscles and tendons of the forearms.  It required a five-month period of disability, rest and physical therapy. To this day, I must be constantly vigilant in caring for my upper extremities so that I can keep working. 

Comments

[janna]

Thanks! This was really interesting! I find court reporting fascinating - I'd like to get to actual touch a steno keyboard sometime.

[Kae]

Your job sounds so interesting! I always wondered how that worked... been called to jury duty a couple times and always wondered how the lady managed to keep up with the lawyers, etc.

[Jane]

I love pictures of hands, especially when they are working. And it's easy to tell that you honor yours, which is as it should be.

[Kirsten]

Wow. As a frequent reader of transcripts (occupational hazard), I am always amazed at how the court reporter manages to get it down, especially when judge, lawyer, and witness are all talking over each other.

Thanks for the insight!

[sean]

I've often wondered how those things worked...I read it, but still don't understand it...LOL, but I'm impressed!

[adelaide]

I always find your posts about court reporting completely fascinating. Thanks for all the interesting information.

[Dave]

SRAER TPHAOEUS PO*S! PHAOEU HAPBD WRAOEUT/G HAS TKPWOPB TO SHEUT TAO - HAZ/ARD -FT SWKROB, EU TKPWES.

[Lucia]

I knew about chord keyboards, but had never seen them explained, so thanks for the tour. I don't quite get parts of it, but there has to be some mystery left in life.

Your initial confusion between the two keyboards sounds like what happens to someone learning a third language, or learning two new languages at once -- it's very hard at first, but pretty soon each one stays in its proper place. Linguists call it code switching. (It doesn't happen between the first and second languages because the native language is so well entrenched already.)

[Vicki]

Thanks for that, Norma! The perfect "K" for you!! I used to wear grooves into the keys of the typesetting machines I worked on -- two grooves in each key -- for the medium-ish fingernails and the time-to-trim fingernails!

[Samantha]

wow, and I'm happy with myself for remembering where all the letters are on the middle row!

[Samantha]

except just now I had to search high and low for the u in my verification word!

[Cara]

Very very KOOL!

[Norma]

Hahahahaha, I LOVE meeting the "new Dave." Who knew? He's a court reporter, too, obviously. His message (although his steno is slightly different than mine) says:

"Very nice post! My handwriting has gone to shit too - Hazard of the job, I guess."

I can't stop loving it. Welcome, Dave!

[Chelle]

Very interesting post, Norma. I've heard that some court reporters have their hands insured? Chelle

[Carla]

Wild! Very cool, I could NEVER do that!

[Jenn]

CONSTANT VIGILANCE, Cousin. :)

You know how much I like to hear about your job. It's so interesting.

[MBT]

That was really interesting, thanks!

Isn't it amazing that the everyday things we do that might seem dull as dry toast to us have the power to fascinate others?

[--Deb]

Very interesting! I always wondered how that worked, too. Of course, I only use a QWERTY keyboard, but my handwriting has, um, deteriorated, too. Anything longer than a short note is going to end up illegible at some point--very depressing. Not that my handwriting was ever that wonderful, and lecture notes in college pretty much killed it off. Or at least, made the mortal blow, it's the typing that's really killed it. Still, it's one of the reasons that when I DO handwrite, I like to use a fountain pen. Forces me to slow down at least a tad, with that hint of friction, and hey, why not use the old-fashioned device? Since it means I'm not using the computer anyway!

[Elizabeth]

Very cool. Thanks for the tour.

[Julie]

Thanks for the tutorial. You could still paint your nails green, or navy blue, which would complement the ghostly pallor of your skin. They would look really radical being short and all.

I always thought that watching a court reporter was like watching a pianist. The graceful wrists and the easy (or sometimes not so easy) rhythm.

[jessie]

I don't get it, but I'm getting closer to getting it. Keep up the good work.

BTW, my mother was a secretary for years and years and she averaged about 80 wpm on an IBM Selectric. Once she got extremely nervous about a job interview and got so wound up, she got 111 wpm.

Just that once.

[Beth S.]

That's wild. It's code, basically, isn't it? A freaky, weird, melt-the-brain-of-the-average-reader code. Is there a stenographers' mailing list or Yahoo group where you all post smart-alecky stuff in stenography-speak? Because if there isn't, there absolutely should be. ;-)

[Cookie]

How cool!

Thank you for that, Norma, and for telling us what the New Dave posted. My first thought was that you would be drop kicking our Dave later. *L*

[Cynthia]

My godmother (who I absolutely adore - a wonderful French Canadian who can cook) was one of you before she retired. Gotta love your own lingo - just think you could create knitting patterns for stenographers and the rest of us; we would have no freakin clue what you were talking about! I have enough trouble with regular english, let alone the steno language - could you like call yourself bilingual?!!

[B.]

Heh. And here I thought K was for Knitting.

[Kat]

Fascinating. Steno, and shorthand, amaze me.

[hillary]

That was really fascinating. Maybe more so because I can't type at all. I refused to learn when I was young (teenage rebellion against anything mom recommended)and now I'm really fast as a one handed typist so I can't slow down long enough to learn.

[mrspao]

That was really interesting. I have never seen what a stenographer uses before. Thank you for sharing it.

[Doris]

And I'm proud of myself for mastering the qwerty keyboard?! Wow! I always wondered how court reporters were able to type so fast. I like learning new things...here's my new one for today! (even if I still don't understand how you manage to remember it all) Thanks.

[Christina in Washington]

I have to agree with everyone else - that's really interesting.

Thanks for sharing!

[janine]

Facinating! Thanks for a great post :-)

[Kristen]

Consider me even more impressed with your prodigious talents than I was before!

[Rachel H]

my brain hurts now.

[Sue]

That's very, very interesting. Always wondered how steno machines worked. It makes my brain hurt to think about learning that code, and typing a whole word at once, though!

[S.Kate]

Hmm... You're a double agent from Mars, right?

[The Purloined Letter]

How cool!

[ann]

so, so confusing!!

[Rabbitch]

That was really interesting, thank you!

I type 90wpm. You scare me.

[Dave Daniels]

108 keys on the keyboard. 10 fingers. Do the math. It's no wonder I make so many typos.

[claudia]

Cool beans. Now WTF are they doing when they're talking into the mask???:

[AnnP]

I'm shaking my head in confusion but also in fascination. You say New Dave uses a different steno than you. Does that mean there is no one standard method? Or each person has their own variations?

[molly!]

It's like you speak a different language! Very cool.

[Emma.]

I'm deeply impressed. All I can do to single finger type ! You are a one heck of a woman.

Your single word = horticultured

[Kathleen]

So cool Norma. We have a stenographer who frequents the shop. It is very cool.

[Jen da Purse-Ho]

you are hilarious! you have given me hope after reading about your classes drop out rate. I'm at that point in school where all my friends have dropped out...all but like 1 or 2. so i'm feeling frustrated! haha.

TU TP-R KWROUR PO*S!

[Debi]

As an almost total failure when it comes to typing, I am in awe of your skills! Thanks for a very interesting post!

[Rachel H]

...but you made such a cute smurf...

[Cathy]

Thank you for all this information. I looked forward to your K and it is soooo worth it!

[Dave Daniels]

Oh, the colors of your hands are MUCH better.
And, watch, I'm going to TRY and remember the passwordy thingy...

[Juls]

my friend is a real time transcriptionist, and she is the current national realtime champ for speed and accuracy (http://www.ncraonline.org/Events/Realtime/) and it just blows my mind when she talks about her profession. As an attorney, I have enough trouble with just listening to the deponent, let alone imagining transcribing their speech!