"Are Nalgenes Really Toxic?"

Always at a loss for blog fodder (ha), I occasionally turn to my stats to see if there's anything there of entertainment value. And I wasn't disappointed. As of 3:28 p.m. yesterday, my blog entry of August 3rd was the 10th hit for the query, "Are Nalgenes really toxic?"

Of course it will give me nothing but a kick of joy to get moved up in the ratings for that all-important, burning question. So have at it. Leave comments. Build up my self-esteem and confound anyone searching for that question. They'll end up on a .....knit blog? A what? That's me: Always at your service on important questions of toxicity, or not, of Nalgenes. Or truly, if you have any expertise on the topic, please be sure to share. Three cheers for urban myths!

(Wendy will no doubt notice the orangeness of my Nalgene bottle. But I swear this is NOT intentional and I've only just noticed it since you've been pointing it out.)

Oh, and speaking of being of service, while you're at it, Dear Readers, will you please do some charity knitting for me? NO, NO - DON'T STOP READING - YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE, I PROMISE!

Will you get started with making a willy-warmer for this guy? He's not feeling the love. He clearly needs about a thousand hand-knit peter-heaters to arrive on his doorstep. Preferrably knitted in steel wool. I've got an orange CHIBI for you if you do it.

My blog was also hit #9 for "house m.d. pictures." Some people need a course as to how to use Google effectively, methinks. Still not sure whether that person wanted to research How The Other Half Lives and wants to see what a proper doctor's house looks like (which, no, I can't help you there). Or "I'm soon-to-become a doctor and I should look and see what kind of house is out there for me." (can't help you there, either) Or was the person looking for photographs of "house doctors?"  As in, "Is there a doctor in the house?"  Or is a "house doctor" something like a "tree surgeon?" Or does m.d. stand for something else? Clue me in, people. Clue me in.

And the award for Longest Google Search Topic goes to:

free patterns for knitting mittens for beginners in homespun

Searcher, if you find it, will you share it?  But first, a few questions:  Is that beginners in homespun, or beginner knitters, or beginner knitters making mittens in Lion Brand Homespun yarn?  You see where I start to get confused? Oy. I obviously put too much time into these things.

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A new ensemble for da house. The 2nd mitten is not quite finished as of the time of this writing. There was another power outage at my house and some other things eating up my time - such as, you know, trying to figure out Google search syntax - and oh, yes: the paying work.

Comments

[Patti]

Damn, I wish I had time. I've been coveting that orange Chibi. It probably wouldn't take long - he's obviously really insecure about *something*.

A Clue, also: There is a show called "House" that is about a doctor. That's all I know. I haven't watched it. I'm a CSI fan, myself.

[Rabbitch]

House MD. Good TV show featuring the startlingly spanky Hugh Lorrie.

Oh my. I have a need to knit him a little tiny orange willie warmer. I-cord techniques should do it. Maybe with a fun-fur fringe ...

I mean the author of the article. Not the esteemed Mr. Lorrie, who I imagine would need a slightly larger orange willie warmer.

[molly]

That article is unbelieveable! Where do I get the steel wool?

[Manise]

The willie warmer recipient must definitely be related to the harlot's infamous"Weenie". Yes, Mollie, one made out of steel wool or something equally abrasive and itchy would be fitting. May he and his very small parts" recoil in horror- after all that's what we did reading his awful article.

The hat and mittens are beautiful.

[sandy]

Now that I've got my morning giggle, I can go on with the day.
I do think you covered it all today, nalgenes, doctors, willies and CHARITY KNITTING.
You are a good person.
xo

[Laurie]

Must have been a slow rant day for that guy.

[Wendy]

I swear, the color orange is calling to me. I almost caved and bought some orange Alchemy yarns in the LYS on Friday but got distracted and forgot.

[Cara]

Completely serious question - one I may have asked you before - are the needles in the Orange Chibi smaller than the needles in the other Chibi's? I seem to remember in a VK or IK or some other letter+K magazine that Clover was going to come out with new tapestry needles specifically for socks - smaller ones, but still with the hooked tip.

Oh and steel wool might be too soft for that guy. Clearly his LAST girlfriend - the one that just dumped him because he's such an ass - was a very accomplished knitter.

[Helen]

Yeah, while reading his "article" (and I use that term loosely), I was thinking "I-cord" and not much of it!

I think that might be the project that I work on today. I promised my youngest son I'd show him out to use the knitting knobby. Why not make use of it? ;-)

[margene]

My goodle searches are so boring...only knitting related stuff. Nalgene's rock! (Mine is RED.)

[rams]

LAUrie. Hugh LAUrie. As in Bertie Wooster, as in Sense and Sensibility. As in how can anyone so English sound so solidly American -- best switch since Bo Hoskins in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

And you know that other fellow, the schmuckette, isn't worth even the six inches of yarn it might take. Let it freeze.

[Jean E.]

I agree with Rams. Let it freeze. Thanks for my laugh of the day!!! ( I have two out of three kids home from school today; I really need that laugh.)

[Iris]

That guy is clearly an internet troll- better to let him have an "article" than to let him roam around stinking up the comments of knitblogs everywhere.

[Carole]

What an ass! And I'll stick to what I said about Stephanie's weenie guy on the plane - he must have an ex-wife that's a knitter. Except this guy is such a screw-up that I don't anyone would have ever married him.

[Rachel H]

I giggled. Where do you find this stuff? And I adore Hugh Laurie. Handsome and hugely talented. *wistful sigh* I'm with you on the paying work as an afterthought, but unfortunately I've got to go off and do some of it. Seriously cuts in to the knitting time, but does pay the mortgage. Ah well.

[Stalker Angie]

Ok, what do I get if I make the Willy Warmer out of barbed wire? You know what? Nevermind. I'll do it for free and throw in a few extra spikes to boot. Ok, forget barbed wire. Razor wire. Grrrrr

Oh wait. I'm not a knitter. But he's disparaging my knitting e-friends! Now where did I put that razor wire....

[B.]

All that being said, you have to admit that his invention of the term "knitzkrieg" is pretty good.

[Jane]

He's an ass, but the universe laughs, because at the bottom of his skreed there are two ads for KNITTING!! Heh

[Vicki]

"Startlingly spanky" -- I like it! (And it's the absolute truth.)

Thanks for the laugh(s) this morning, lady. I read Steven Wells' column from a link that Cara had and commented on her blog, too, about the knitting-related google ads at the bottom of his post! Outrageous!! Isn't that like a criminal profiting from the sale of his story? I don't think he should make a red cent off any of those clicks!! ; )

[Stephanie VW]

I can't read any further without commenting about the wanker who wrote so negatively about knitting. I'll knit him a willy warmer... Do you have a pattern for a size extra small?

Seriously though, if that's all he's got to complain about in this world, well, he's either not watching the evening news ('cause they're so much more to complain about, with say, oh heck, the government? or AIDS in Africa? or maybe poverty?) or he's not getting any b/c his girlfriend is a knitter.

[Silvia]

That is one strange guy. Though he must know what's cool, because when I think of Uber-hip-cool-trendy I know it's Philly on my mind.

[Bethany]

Hugh Laurie is wonderful, but I can't stand his new show, House. I watched it a few times and can't do it. For my doctor show fix I watch Gray's Anatomy.

As for Steven Wells, all I can say is WTF?! How can someone hate knitters or knitting that much? Was he tortured by a knitter? Neglected by a knitter? Did he not get a pair of lovely handknit socks one year when everyone else did? What?!

[Elizabeth]

The fitness guru at my gym, she who bans microwaves and Gatorade, said to only buy Nalgene's with a '2' on the bottom. I guess this is 'second generation' (like for airbags or something.) All I now is that everyone in our family uses and loves them. I certainly hope they are not toxic; those disposable water bottles certainly are ( and they last a 1000 years in the landfill) Now I have to go read the article that distracted everyone from the Nalgene debate.

[ann]

I can't believe it. I searched for over an hour this morning for mittens for the mitten tree at the Chittenden Bank. I ended up going back to my mom's old Jack Frost 2 needle book and will do them on dps instead. Next time you are going to K yarn email me and I would love to meet up with you. I live in Essex. Thanks for a real life blog!!!

[Lorette]

I love doing the google search thing. It's entertaining to try to guess what people actually were looking for. That article writing guy is just lucky he didn't leave his email address, is all I can say. He'd be toast.