The blogger otherwise known as Norma, with known aliases "Grasshoppah," "Grasshopper," "One L Short of Normal, "Norma(l)" and "NORma," seems to have gone missing late last night. Circumstances for the disappearance are being treated as suspicious. Witnesses say it is possible she has entered the Blogger Protection Program, a program whereby bloggers go underground to avoid being "memed," a term of art amongst bloggers and emailers. A meme, pronounced "meem," is the practice of passing around strange questions to be answered by the blogger or emailer. The practice has been known to cause serious trauma to the psyche of the blogger, and sometimes spontaneous combustion, stroke or death. Authorities are concerned for the safety of all involved, as it has been uncovered that Norma made threats against the "memer."
The memer was interviewed in connection with the investigation and has expressed great fear. "She said she was sending her Uncle Garnet - apparently this is a normal name for uncles in her family on the Canadian side - to break my kneecaps. I have installed extra security locks and have reinforced my knees just in case." She added, "I do not think it is fair that a wack job pseudo-knitter-blogger like her can get away without answering the questions. I hope she is found quickly, comes to her senses, and answers the damn questions."
Investigators have learned that shortly before her disappearance, the blogger Norma was heard to be fretting about "being tagged." Should anyone have any information regarding such terminology, please contact authorities forthwith. Members of Norma's family were interviewed and expressed concern that she left her works in progress (known in knitblog parlance as WIPs) on her ottoman. "She never goes anywhere without these. She was working on some sort of a slip-stitch-ribbed square object for a blanket or something, and had just completed the heel flap of her 2nd sock."
"Clearly there has been foul play," said her husband, "or she was not in her right mind."
Investigators confiscated a pink-and-white plastic object with the coded markings C-H-I-B-I. It will be subjected to forensic analysis in hopes that it will lead to clues as to Norma's whereabouts.