W. T. Fuck (my new favorite variation of the "wtf" that people use in IMs or emails nowadays -- a clever friend of Abigail's has been using the phrase as if it's somebody's name, and of course we can't resist joining in) or Jesus H. Christ, as my aunt (who had a fouler mouth than me -- but she really MEANT it -- I only say it for effect. She was a meanie, if I ever met one.) would have said.
I don't know. The planets must be misaligned or the universe is seeking balance or something. This makes little sense, because in my case, I ask the question: Balance from WHAT? It's not as if things have really been going all that great or really going my way or something. Geesh.
Could a ball of yarn be jinxed? And if so, then why didn't everything start to go right when I chucked it and opened up a new ball? I even cast on the Must Have in ivory Cascade 220, thinking maybe that would help. Nope.
What does it make my IQ if I can't do multiples of 3 + 2 ribbing across a row, with just two pieces of 3 + 3 + 3 stuck in, and get it right after many, MANY tries? Low, that's what, to match my mood. But the low mood has only come AFTER all this travail.
I'm crap. How many smarts does it take to count to 111? I'm crap. I have no right to hold knitting needles. Or maybe it's that I'm really supposed to be waiting patiently for my Aeros to arrive. Yeah, that's probably it. Or maybe I'm crap.
Or is this a Patons curse? Because I was pronouncing the name Pattons for so long? And I'm not using
Pattons Paytons yarn for this Pattons Paytons pattern? Or maybe I'm just crap.
I'm putting the freaking Must Have in time out. Really, I should be the one in time out, but I'm taking it out on the sw -- yarn. I was going to say taking it out on the "sweater," but it is NOT a sweater. It's only a pile of freaking yarn, since it's now off the needles for about the 14th time.
At least for once the color photographed correctly. Wouldn't you just know.....
....because not only am I crap, but my camera is crap, too. I took about 15 photos of the now-completed beautiful black bag with crystally/pearly handles, and every single one of them is CRAP. I can't even bring myself to use the space to show you, they came out so bad. At least I didn't freaking ruin the purse when putting in the grommets and attaching the handles. The way things have been going, that would have been par for the course. Probably tonight the bag will spontaneously combust or something. Or maybe tomorrow I'll find out I put them on backwards or upside down. Just the way things have been going.
And Kimmie did a wonderful job on the handles, and all I can give you is CRAP. Every single time she sends me some, I think this is my new favorite. I'm having a very hard time choosing a true favorite now. Kim, I think maybe you shouldn't have sent me those gorgeous high-rent beaded stitch markers in all those various sizes, because maybe I'm just too low-rent-crappy to use them.
Or maybe Kierkegaard (the sweater also known as Kirstin from Hot Knits) is putting this curse on me out of jealousy. Or maybe the lace beaded scarf. Or maybe it's the Harlot curse, because I'm not finishing the Harlot Homespun scarf. Or maybe it's bad luck to only finish one of your husband's wristers and not do the second, but to pretend to all of blogworld that you've actually completed a full pair.
Or maybe I'm just crap.