SEMPER UBI SUB UBI

I'm sorry.  This post just could not wait for another day.  Please.  May we PLEASE secede from these arsehole politicians?  WHAT.IS.GOING.ON?????  DO WE NOT LOOK STUPID ENOUGH to the rest of the world ALREADY?  Would somebody buy me a ticket so I can go to Virginia and tell these assholes OFF?  Better yet, pull down their pants when they're not looking?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4249831.stm

Soon I will be banned from blogging because my slip is always showing on this blog.  Even worse, I'm a woman.  I'm sure women in fundamentalist male-dominated societies shouldn't be blogging, (which sounds too much like a sexual act) much less swearing like a fucking sailor all over the print. 

Semper ubi sub ubi!

(always where under where)

Just for this, I'm purposely going to dress for work today like this:  I've got some low-rise yoga pants, but I'm going to wear them with HI-rise underpants.  No, wait, I do have some thong underwear.  That's IT.  I'll wear that.  And it's hot in there, so I'm going to wear a tank top with bra straps showing.  Come and get me, you asshole Virginian politicians!

Comments

[stephanie]

Land of the....? What was it again?

[Cassie]

If they just banned underwear it would solve the whole problem. Makes perfect sense. Or we could change the name to partly-under wear. Then it wouldn't be so offensive.

or we could just let them be assholes and laugh at them.

[Kate]

Ha ha! I love your comments for this one.

[alison]

How could Steph forget? It's right on the tip of my tongue.
Land of the f- fr- freaks, isn't it?

Yes, Virginia. there is an underwear clause.

[Cara]

I'm with Cassie! I see a Knitbloggers Protest coming on: COMMANDO DAY! Leave your underwear at home! Makes me want to run out and buy a thong and low riders. Who cares who I scare with my fat rolls! Virginia be damned! (Makes me glad to live in New Jersey....)

[stinkerbell]

I am right there with you. One more thing to add to teh why the rest of the world thinks we are sexist idiots website...

I am wearing my thong with pride in protest of this insanity. Cause if you dont want to see my pretty lace thong I dont want to see your skank ass boxers either!

[Michelene]

Norma, be sure to use one of your beaded stitch markers as a thong charm.

[Dani]

They tried to ban bra straps that hung out of tank tops at my high school once...so my girlfriends and I all went braless for a week. It was on the day that I wore a white tank top that the administration conceeded that perhaps there *was* a greater, more distracting evil. To this, I have the same reaction - W.T.Fuck?!
I now resolve to let only bum cleavage hang out of my pants instead of an occasional peek of cute underwear, in solidarity with my not-prejudiced, not-old-white-republican-head-up-my-ass american friends.
Fight the good fight girls...just say yes to crack!

[Jayme]

I live in Virginia and this was nowhere in the news yesterday, how sad that I had to hear from you. I've heard of "crime against fashion" but I never thought they would turn into real crimes. This is insane. Isn't this a afirst amendment violation? If this passes I'm going to try to get fined and sue the pants ; ) off the state.

[erin]

PIctures, Norma. We want pictures! :) what I wanna know is, no low riders, But have they seen what college/pro cheerleaders wear??? um, hello double standard. I wonder if it's just so they aren't tempted to look at those underage and thus incrimante themselves. Men. As rRobin Williams one said, "God gave us two heads, and only enough blood to run one at a time." How true, Robin. How true.

[Beth S.]

I dunno, Norma... I applaud your sentiment w/r/t the long arm of the law, particularly when the aforementioned arm is attached to the shoulder of the Christian right. But I am deeply torn, because honestly, fucktards of the world? Pull up your pants already. That's so 1998.

[Norma]

This is a cute cartoon in a college newspaper:

http://www.thebreeze.org/opinion/houseed.shtml

[Brynne]

Wow. I'm almost tempted to show the world my stretch marks and my knit ho thong (really, I bought one from knitty in my pre-baby days) just to show how stupid this is.

[Cathy]

I had several thoughts while reading your post today. First, I'm really sick of seeing women in too-tight pants with their "whale-tail" showing everytime they bend over. I'm glad they shop at Victoria's Secret, but if I wanted an intimate view of their thong display, I'd read the catalog.
That said, this law is W.T.Fucked-up! Yes, I don't want to see your underwear, but no, I don't think someone should be fined because their ass needs more fresh air than mine does.
On top of all that, though, I must admit that I currently live in Virginia, and it is my duty to report that this same state legislature passed a law recently making it illegal to watch pornography in your car while in view of other vehicles. Crap. I really enjoyed having "I Swallow 7" on for background noise as I drove down Rt. 250 Business. Jeez.

[Lauren]

This is not as bad as the proposed law that will allow grandmothers in Switzerland to be imprisoned if they donate money to an orphanage that, unbeknownst to her, turns out to be a terrorist organization.

[susan]

You have a thong, Norma! Did you knit it????

[Jo]

Absolutely right decision to let us know about this immediately. I'm flabbergasted. Why do people think laws will solve all their problems?

[Stephanie VW]

It's a fashion trend! Geez. In 20 years, we'll all either be walking around in assless pants or we'll all be looking back and asking "What were we thinking?" (Think polyester leisure suits.)

In the meantime, what the heck are they going to do about all those mostly naked people at the beach? Oh wait, people at the beach aren't wearing undies, they're wearing swimwear... And bikinis were never a controversy, no, certainly not those lovely little patches of fabric. No sir, those were accepted as proper attire right away. That's why those government types have copies of Sports Illustrated Swimwear Editions at their home... to serve as an example of acceptable dress.

[Cara]

Aw, man! Erin already posted what I was going say.

So I guess I just have to say, "I second that emotion!"

[Judy]

Right on, Beth S! I work in downtown Atlanta. And I can tell you that I am SICK of seeing young men running around with 9/10 of their underwear showing, grabbing at their privates trying to keep these pants from falling completely off. I'm not sure the legal system has anything to do with this but I sure wish it would stop. There is a 'burb down here that has instituted fines for this behavior. That one should be interesting to watch.

[Margene]

I thought they were Utah legislators...guess there are moral police everywhere. Men!!

[Poormary]

Hmmmm......Isn't this the same state that had wanted to make it a crime not to report "fetal death"?

[abby]

I'm going to post this picture (http://www.lemonmoonarts.com/knitting/virginia.jpg) to my blog, along with a link to your post and a link to the article.

gah.

I am so disgusted I can barely speak.

[Melissa]

This is amazingly stupid. I'm at a loss for words...

[Lorette]

Jesus H. Christ on a fucking pogo stick. It sounds like these jerks in the government really have their underwear in a knot. Or panties in a wad. Or whatever. Reminds me rather unpleasantly of catholic school days where my hemline got measured. You wouldn't want my incredibly sexy knees turning on some poor schoolboy.
I just had to add the dictionary entry that I emailed to my husband this morning.

fas·cism:
n.
often Fascism
A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.
A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government.
Oppressive, dictatorial control.

[Jenn]

Nothing says "fuck you" attitude like a fat girl in a thong so I'm pulling my strings way the hell up! Perfect that I'm wearing my hip rider capris too.

Thanks! I feel so free in the breeze...

[Kristen]

Count me in with the ambivalent ones. I HATE the trend of having thongs and boxers and bra straps hanging out all over the place and have been waiting for it to die forever, but having a law about it is got to be even dumber than the fashion trend itself! Oh, puhleeze! Apparently VA is such a wonderful poverty- and crime- and racism- and sexism- and etc-free place to live that these people have nothing better to do than legislate underwear! Next they'll put one of those laws on the books about not hanging your underwear out on the clothesline in your backyard! Bah!

[Vicki]

It's amazing how many stupid ways politicians can come up with to spend their time ("earn" their pay?) and taxpayers' money, avoiding any real issues.

Do you really have a thong? Just the thought makes me want to tug on my underwear. My undie drawer is full of passion-killers... they look great with hipsters... theoretically, that could have been my third arrest yesterday.

[Megan]

hahaha...four years of latin and that phrase is about all I remember...

[sandy]

Oh. My . God. I can't believe it!
First of all, I do not like the underpants hanging out look. ON a man or woman. I have spent many of my years trying to keep my undies covered up and I intend to keep trying.
But this is a good example of where the law should not be. EVER. In our underpants.
They screw us enough.
Now...pull up your pants, not because it's the law. But because it's in bad taste.
:)

[Melissa]

Of course, we could all rebel, go "commando" and still where our low-rise pants. They can only fine us if there's underwear to see, right? ;-)

[Donna]

Norma, I'm gonna buy you one of those oh-so-tasteful thongs with a diamonte decoration on the back. It'll match your bag handles ;)
Then I want you to run for senate. :)

[Libby]

Yeah, Virginia is all about stupid legislation right now. This one--I'm hoping--is so laughable that nothing will really happen. But check out some other stupid (and dangerous) legislation here:http://midlifemama.blogspot.com/2005/02/stupid-legislation-update.html

We are apparently also poised to ban gay marriage for a second time (in case the law isn't good enough, we'll amend our constitution) and to offer license plates promoting "traditional marriage." Grr.

[Ali]

Oh my goodness that's silly. Do they have better things to do?

I agree it looks stupid (and it is tempting to pull the hanging pants all the way down just to see what happens!) but legislating it? That'll be on the law books for a long time, like the one requiring you to wear spurs in the marketplace (Cambridge) and practise archery on the village green on Sunday afternoons (everywhere, courtesy of the Hundred Years War). It's legal to kill Scotsmen in York (I think it's York) as long as you use bow and arrow, but it made sense at the time to legislate it.

Oh well, keeps those salivating politicians off the streets.

[Penny]

Hi Norma,
I'm a regular reader but haven't commented before. However I had to respond to this! My husband and I saw this on the BBC this morning. We were wondering if this also applied to bra straps under shoe string strap tops??? Just a gentle reminder of our 4 years in Charlottesville VA (after 3 years in Upstate NY).
Very much enjoy reading your blog.

[Donna]

Ah, the rest of the world is getting to enjoy the wonders of Virginia politics! Living in Northern Virginia and dealing with the mindset of the rest of the state is no picnic. But it is always amusing, so laugh and enjoy yourself. I can't imagine my cop friends enforcing this law -- they have soooooooo many better things to do with their time - like arresting murders so we can execute them.

[Bliss]

Dollars to donuts that some of the male legislators, who have proposed this ASSinine legislation, are wearing WOMEN'S undies. Thanks for making the whole world hold their collective sides laughing at us,

What's next? Civil citation if your slip shows? Mandatory one piece jumpsuits for all plumbers and t.v. repairmen?

[PJ]

HA!...perhaps in some sick way, this is a way they can study and look at pictures to determine what is and isn't legal..can imagine the money that will be put forth for the research committee/federal enforcement...talk about pork ....but you know they won't throw their 'adult' mags away though! ..how would they deal with that issue?

[Stacy Layman-Kennedy]

Anyone else think this one won't stand up on appeal?

Oh, and FUCK! ;)

[Leanne]

Norma, I just saw this on CNN. Apparently someone has gotten some sense knocked back into them.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/02/10/droopy.pants.ap/index.html

[cari]

Norma -

I heard on CNN this morning that the senate of Virginia did not pass this legislation. I think we are fortunate that they are somewhat more intelligent than the house in Virginia who so quickly passed it.

The CNN reporter said that they thought the Virginia Senate was tired of hearing how ridiculous their state looked for trying to pass this.

Happy Friday Knitting.